I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about my body dysmorphia but more often I post photos of my butt. I am in a D/s relationship with two wonderful pups. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

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Love your blog man. I think it is amazing that you're giving a community that may not have any awareness into sub/dom relationships, such a poignant insight, and are so open. My question, will you ever take us deeper into the sexual aspect of your sub/dom relationship? There is such care involved between you and your pups. I would love an insight into how that evolves during the sexual aspect while you retain your dominance.

Thank you!  So glad you like my blog :D

BDSM is a challenging subject for the uninitiated, and a normal scene might look abusive if you don’t know what’s going on.  We tried writing about it in the past, but it attracted some negative attention from people unfamiliar with how a scene works.

Furthermore, I think the romantic intimacy of “sex” is something sacred between my pups and I.

For those reasons, I don’t publically write about the sexual aspect of our relationship. I might post vague photos, but writing is probably not going to happen maybe.

Is lil pup not wearing a collar in that skype call?!? What happened!?!

He was having an allergic reaction so I’ve removed it until we find a material that doesn’t burn his skin.

Poor lil pup.  :(

Can you justify using a facial product with ingredients from a one endangered now extinct animal? Call me rude but it seems rather self absorbed and shitty to not use an alternative or go without.

Ah, you’re referring to that joke I wrote about what face lotion I use:

The animal my lotion is made from went extinct, so I bought enough bottles to last me till I’m 30. When I run out, I’ll probably use something unscented. (Unless they cure puffy eyes in the future, then I won’t need lotion).

Original post here.

The joke is a riff on the ribwich episode of Simpsons:

The last stop of the Ribwich’s tour was in San Francisco, where Krusty the Clown appeared in person and announced that the Ribwich would not be made anymore, as the unnamed animal whose meat was used for the burger had become extinct.

Its a joke.  I made a joke about my amazing face lotion being discontinued.  And it isn’t the first time I’ve joked about it being discontinued.  I’ve also joked it was pulled for being too powerful, addicting, and ironically causes the skin cancer it was designed to prevent.  My facial lotion is L’Oreal Men Expert Hydra engergetic Moisturiser.

Sadly, L’Oreal has reintroduced the lotion with a new package design. So I can’t joke about it anymore.

I have to know where those nautical swim suits came from? Especially yours and chuck pups... Thank you --AB

The swimsuits are all from Pistol Pete.  They rotate styles often, but always seem to have a couple nautical themed swimsuits.

I’m wearing the Nautilus Brief, my friends and pup Chuck are all wearing the (discontinued) Nautical Midcut.  Just keep an eye out on amazon, sometimes the old styles pop up.

Unrelated, but my tiny captain hat was $4 on Amazon.  The boys brought their own sailor caps.

I don't know how you do it, Noodles! My Sir only has two pups (me and my pupbrother), and we already run him ragged. Three whole puppies; how are you gonna have time to breathe?! (But in all seriousness congrats to you and you're whole pack, you guys are all fantastic/inspiring) --JA

Heh, thanks pup, you flatter me.

The first time I brought both pups to subspace together I felt like I leveled up as a Dom.  The usual “buzz” feeling I get when being dominant went from a heady feeling to overwhelming and intoxicating.  I just wanted more and more…I felt greedy in a way I had never experienced before.  I wanted to use my pups again and again, but I just couldn’t be satisfied. It only seemed to drive me deeper, more animalistic, rougher.

…anyway.  I think I’m just extra wired for it; my pups end up getting worn out much sooner than I do.

Why does Chuck not want to be a master instead of a pup? He's MASSIVE and dominant appearing. It all seems so backwards. You're small and not intimidating at all. Seems like you should be the submissive one.

That’s why it’s so hot!

And it’s not just Chuck. All my pups are huge, beefy, hyper masculine, well educated, successful, and typically cast as dominant types.

Then there’s me. Awkward, small, shy, with hundreds of photos of my butt yelling “he’s a bottom” to the internet.

And yet…these beefy guys ache to submit to me? They literally beg for me to use them.

The extreme juxtaposition of their size and masculinity to my twinky-ness is what drives me crazy. It’s the hottest thing in the world. All that size and brawn politely asking to be my foot rest, or preparing food in uniform, or servicing me…its intensely erotic. Times three.

These are all exceptional men. I couldn’t force them to submit…any of them could easily over power me. Instead, they love and respect me so much that they feel the best way to show it is by giving themselves completely through submission.

That’s beautiful. I feel so honored to receive such love.

Can I send my cv and a serious cover letter applying for a pup position? You have a handfull of pups and Prolly not looking for another one, but would you consider even reading it with an opening mind?

Heh, sure…this could be fun.  Send your “pup” application here.

Just understand that I am not taking on any new pups because this is my life right now:


So, I think judging by that last post, we can already tell that you're wedding is gonna be quite eccentric, do you have a solid concept already or are you developing it on the run? --AA

Eccentric?  You have no idea.

I’m throwing the first ever circuit wedding.

Why do you eat so much poutine?

Excuse you.

I’ll tell you why I eat so much damn poutine.


Look at that.  LOOK AT IT.  Pulled pork over fries with cheese curds.  Its like staring into the FACE OF GOD and he tells you YOU ARE WORTHY OF EATING ME.


Oh my god, is that…?  YES IT IS: Japanese curry chicken over yukon gold fries!!!  Salty, Spicy, Sweet, Umami…what is this?!  A FIFTH FLAVOUR?!?!  The best elements of every flavour combine to unlock the ULTIMATE FORM OF TASTE INCARNATE: poutine.


Have you ever eaten something so incredible you cried?  Meet duck confit poutine: self-actualization as food.  You are special, you are loved, you are worthy, you are wanted…and poutine has brought you there.


Behold: classic poutine.  Deceivingly simple.  You’d never know a life changing experience was just a bite away.

If you could capture the human condition—love, loss, joy, sadness, ecstasy, pokemon—into food, you would have a recipe for classic poutine.

What I’m saying is: you have not lived until you’ve poutine.

Hiya, I've admired your blog for a while now and every time I see you and your (now) pups, I start to feel a pang in my chest wanting to have a pup of my own. However, I haven't had any personal 'Doming' experience per se and don't know where to begin. Would one time sessions with non-taken subs be a good start?


Taken at the Armoury, San Francisco

You want a pup of your own but you don’t have any experience being a Dom.  What do you do?

Unlike subs, where I recommend you work on yourself and wait for the right Dom to shape you, budding Doms should seek out experienced subs to help nurture this side of themselves.  Learn what works so you don’t hurt someone on your first power trip.

The first men I dated were experienced subs, they taught me “the ropes” so to speak.  Nobody knows being dominated like a sub.  An experienced sub will know exactly what they need and tell you how to give it to them.

Not every sub will want to be treated the same way, but its valuable experience.  Highly recommended.

Hey, Dylan. Two questions: how do you feel about pre work intake before the gym? And are you doing a 2015 calendar?

I’ve written a very detailed post about pre-workout supplements here.  But, the gist is that yes, I feel pretty good about pre-workout drinks.  I drink a protein shake 60-minutes before working out and take Hyper Shock by Myogenix within 20-minutes of working out.

I was going to do a 2015 calendar, but I am too busy this year with other projects.  Namely:

  1. Propose to big pup Done!
  2. Plan our wedding In progress!
I'm curious, you said you are a house of body builders but lil pup doesn't look like the two of in that regard. Is he supplementing to get big like you and big pup? if he is, is it because he wants to not because he feels pressure from your sexy thick physiques?

Lil pup explained that he wants to get bigger here.

I’ve only been training lil pup for a few months, and most of this time has been focusing on cutting.  We start bulking him up next month.  Thats probably why he doesn’t look like the other pups or myself.

Furthermore, lil pup wants a more toned look, so we’re trying a different approach than bulk bulk bulk.

Hey Handsome. Congratulations on your engagement to Big Pup. My question is how does this effect your relationship with lil pup? How does he feel about this? Does he feel left out or is he over joyed for you both? Reason I ask because most triads that I know where two are married have been for many years, and later in their marriage then they become a triad. You are the first triad I have every seen where two are getting married.

This is a very popular question. At least ten people on tumblr and more on Facebook.

IGNORING the legal benefits that come with marriage, I believe “getting married” is the ultimate celebration of love and recognition of a relationship.  (Put another way, Its the the mega evolution of relationship).

My relationship with big pup has grown so much, so intimate, and over such time, that celebrating it with marriage was the inevitable next step for us.  Lil pup and I aren’t there yet, but I hope to celebrate our relationship in a similar way.  Love deserves to be celebrated.

My relationship with lil pup does not change because I’m celebrating my relationship with big pup through marriage.  Lil pup gave his blessing several months ago. He was overjoyed when I told him my plans.  

Hold on there, this is important.

Hi, I'm Noodles and Beef and welcome to my blog. How are you? Your hair looks great today. What's your secret? I think its important we get to know each other a little bit before you continue.

I've been updating this blog for over 13-years to help me remember and better appreciate my life experiences. I blog for my own benefit, so the content can be extremely personal and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable.

We just met, so I'm not sure what makes you uncomfortable.

Thats why you need to be at least 18-years-old to continue...and if it makes you uncomfortable, just stop reading my blog, okay?

I agree