Posts tagged questions
Rumors I’m not fond of:
“He’s a Latino masseuse who lives in Texas.”
There is a guy in Texas who frequently uses my photos to advertise his services… I’ve had folks message me about massages. It’s annoying.
“He doesn’t let his partner have friends.”
This one is painfully ironic, because my last two relationships were with guys who didn’t want me to have friends, and as a result I vowed to never do that to someone I loved. Instead, I have always pushed pup to connect with his family and pursue friendships outside our relationship. Even if it means he sees the Star Trek movie without me.
“He’s a big, conceited, jerk.”
This is ridiculous, I’m not big at all! Nevertheless, I realize that my overzealous attempts at seeking validation have labeled me as a narcissistic exhibitionist…but, that couldn’t be further from the truth! I’m the most insecure person you’ll ever meet and a fierce friend when given the opportunity. Can we get coffee please?
“He has a huge dick but doesn’t know how to use it.”
Considering how few sexual partners I’ve had, I don’t know how this rumor started. The only feedback pup gives me in my post-coitus survey is that I should use something more lubricating than spit. Hmm.
San Francisco is one of the three “Flagging Capitols” of the world, followed by Sydney, and Palm Springs. It’s kind of a big thing here. Most parties I go to have flag-friendly spaces or dedicated stages where flaggers are free entertainment for club-goers.
Flagging transcends gay cliques and is one of the few times you’ll see Bears, Twinks, Chubs, Muscle Bears, Leather folk, and Faeries put aside their subculture bias to party with each other.
Outside the flagging oasis that is San Francisco, this style of dance is largely unheard of to my generation. Not because it went out of style, like raves or hula hoops, but because advancements in technology (cellphones, Facebook, dating apps, etc) and gay rights have made flagging unnecessary.
But first, some gay history…
Gay Culture is notorious for adopting a dying art and making it our own:
- Country Line Dancing (an original American folk dance) was on the brink of extinction when Gays resurrected it. Most Line Dancing bars are gay these days.
- The VHS Head Cleaner industry was looking death in the eye as DVDs went mainstream…then gays found a unique use for the cleaning product and saved an industry.
- Madonna, a musical demon, needs attention to maintain her youth and immortality. Unable to resist the siren call of a failing diva, Gays rushed in and provide life-sustaining adoration.
Boats used to communicate to each other using Semaphore, a morsecode-like language where the alphabet is signaled using a pair of bright flags. With the advent of radio, semaphore was quickly becoming a dying language…until Gays adopted it.
Back then, Gays needed a discrete (yet fabulous) way to communicate with one another…and Semaphore still had the masculine association of being a Naval/Maritime language. It was destiny.
Flagging quickly spread through the gay underground. Regional dialects like vogueing and fanning soon followed, but the movements remain largely the same. (Fun fact: DTF used to stand for Down to Flag).
As gays became more widely accepted, there was no longer a need to disguise our communications with a secret language like flagging…and with the technological advancement of texting, cell phones, and dating apps, the new generation of gays have never needed a more colourful way to communicate.
These days, we don’t flag to communicate, but to remember our vibrant struggle as a community. The flagging community has created a living mentorship system, your first flags are gifted to you by your Flag Daddy, who teaches you the art and language of our people. When you’re ready, you make your own flags using silk and tie dye.
I’m still learning, but I’ve posted some photos and video of flagging if anyone is interested.
pandatreats221
I stopped going to bear-theme dances a long time ago. They’re rife with attitude and bad music to match. At least, the ones I’ve been to.
These days, I go to parties based on the DJs, then venue, and finally crowd.
I have a few DJs I love and follow (in order of awesomeness), and their gigs dictate where and when I go dancing:
If any of these DJs are playing close enough, I go to their dance. If one of my top three are playing, sometimes I will even travel just to hear them play. I have a strong preference for Tea Dances (dances that end at midnight) because they have happier music and I like to go to bed on time. This tends to produce the best party results for me. The crowd tends to match the music, and at awesome dance parties that means awesome fun people who will vogue battle you to get to the bathroom.
Sadly, there isn’t a very good universal calendar website that shows all gay events and parties in one unified place (ooooh, project idea!). So, if you don’t have a fav DJ you follow or aren’t sure what parties are evening going on, the best way to find upcoming events is (hilariously) by checking for party fliers in bars or GLOSS magazine (they call this a fag rag).
I hear that hookup apps like Growlr have an “Events” section, you might also try that.
If it’s a new party and you aren’t sure about the music, google the DJ and listen to their latest podcasts. If you like what they play, then you should go.
Our relationship is like any other. I love my partner as my best friend, I love him romantically, I love him passionately. (I even made a chart about this).
We push each other to be more than we are, we’ve hurt each other, we’ve made up, we party together, we trust each other…our relationship really is like any other.
…with one small twist.
oldcycloneguy7
Yeah, that guy. Here’s a pic of us.
It was a disaster. I am really not good at performing, and the whole experience just confirmed that I need an emotional connection to even get it up.
And I’m so glad my sporadic BDD posts have been helpful. Body Image issues are a huge problem in the gay community and so few people talk about it. Being open about my diagnosis and struggles has been both therapeutic for me, and helpful for some online friends.
igotahugedick
I’ve got an “About Me” section at the top of my blog. In case you can’t see it, here’s what it says:
I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It’s my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about my body dysmorphia but more often I post photos of my butt.
I’m a gay, 25-year-old who lives in San Francisco, and I do computer stuff for a living. Your hair looks amazing today.
Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!
I guess that is more about my blog content, doesn’t really explain who I am? I kind of feel like my blog should be able to tell folks who I am…after all, it is a journal of my life and me and my stuff.
Also, I wouldn’t consider myself popular. I’m just prolific.
Contrary to your statement that I’m a sexy bitch (thank you), the majority of my blog traffic goes to my web projects, like my Gay Cliques Census, or tumblr tools. And before I did web stuff, I was sort of an okay artist, and my doodles used to be the most popular things I would post.
I mostly post photos of myself to help me explore my body image issues and find personal acceptance for how I look…and the positive affirmations I receive from my few readers is really helpful too.
Also, I don’t do porn. I used to be the Art Director for COLT Studios, and attempted a scene with Logan McCree, but I don’t do porn. I’m definitely not cut out for that world.
I’m really bad at writing an “About Me” section. If you have something you want to know, just ask!
Anonymous
I’m modestly endowed, but there are a few tricks I’ve learned through the years that anyone can use to make your junk more presentable:
- Use Rembrandt Lighting to accentuate the depth of your package. At COLT we used a dedicated spot to give stronger contrast to penises.
- Wear swim trunks or underwear with a built-in pouch or jock. My favourite is from AussieBum, hefts my package right out there. Boom. Just look at it.
- Don’t stuff your package with socks or wear a giant cock ring. This always looks super fake.
- Be really well endowed.
- Tuck your cock up and over the balls. Never upwards or to the side.
- Wear something flattering. Dark colours will hide your package as will overly-tight fitting gear. Just be smart about it, only wear what makes you feel good about yourself.
Eh. That’s all I got. I’m sure there are more tricks, but most of my optical-illusions and savvy are about making your body look bigger.
witheringsun
I don’t think I answered that yet. Anyway, here’s the breakdown for my XXXmas costume:
- The antlers I bought on ebay for $14. They’re “calling antlers,” I guess they’re struck together to imitate the sound of bucks clashing their antlers. I used electrical tape to attach them to a $1 plastic hairband I bought from Clairs.
- The “ears” are actually the part of the horn that attaches to the skull…just so happens to look like ears.
- Leather collar and arm bands are custom, commissioned at Mr S Leather to match the harness.
- The oversized bell attached to my collar is from a random hardware store that was selling xmas stuff. I think the bell cost, like, 50-cents.
- The harness is the Mr S Bulldog harness. They offer it in, like, 12 colours of leather. I originally had one in black leather, but the tan is much more flattering for my skin colour.
- The chaps were borrowed from my step mom, who requested I break them in at the dance party. They’re gorgeous. Besides matching the tan leather of my harness, collar, and arm bands, the chaps are adorned with beautiful leather moulding, I wish I could’ve kept them.
- I found the boots at Worn Out West, a leather/bdsm consignment store in San Francisco. They are pretty close to the tan leather.
This was one of my more elaborate costumes, but I’m pretty proud of it. Hope that helps :D
Nope, no, never, not for me, no way. I am definitely not into water sports.
My boots just happen to be yellow because they’re fishing boots.
A thin strip of yellow is not an invitation to pee on me.
Now, if you’re drunk and we’re sharing a urinal because the bathroom is really crowded at that circuit party cruise and you turn towards me while peeing to continue our conversation and you accidentally pee on me…thats fine. Mistakes happen. But I will not enjoy it.
heavenmadein87
This is as flexible as it gets. I need to get back into yoga, or that pasta machine they use to make tough steaks more flexible.
Anonymous
Anonymous
I was surprised by how much English everyone spoke. The only time I had to do some translation was when we got foot massages in Thailand.
Otherwise, English seemed like everyone’s second language.
Ordering food from street carts was super easy, as was haggling with vendors. Even the subways and mass transit used English as the secondary language. Very helpful.
heynelly
No problem! I think Atlantis Events are pretty awesome vacations for birthdays or partying, but I wouldn’t recommend it for seasoned travelers. That said, Atlantis Events gay vacations fall into three categories:
- Land Cruise
- Party Cruise
- Port Cruise
Each type has it’s own pluses and minuses. But, in general, you can expect the following from any Atlantis Event:
- You’ll be surrounded by thousands of gay men for at least a week. It’s like you’re living in a private gay city.
- Generally awesome dance music at the parties.
- All body types, ethnicities, everything.
- “It’s Raining Men” will play at least once
- The food is free and unlimited, so its great when you’re bulking
- Entertainment is typically mediocre drag talent with occasional amazing gay comedians like Alec Mapa.
Land Cruises (Cancun and Vallarta resorts)
I did the Atlantis Cancun Resort last year for my 25th birthday. As the name suggests, this is an all-inclusive resort. So, all your food and alcohol is included in the price of the vacation. Which means you get drunk every single day.
The Cancun resort is very nice, but make sure you go on the excursions. Don’t stay cooped up in the resort for your entire trip, it’s boring after a few perfect sunsets on their amazing private beach.
Downside to a land cruise is that you don’t go anywhere. Yes, you can go on excursions, travel nearby, but you won’t be visiting a new country everyday.
Party Cruises (LA to Mexico cruise, anything that leaves Florida)
These cruises visit 3-4 ports (not that many) and spend most of your trip at sea. While at sea, you’re partying.
Like, literally, you will be dancing from sunrise to sunset repeat.
These cruises are typically cheaper and attract a much younger demographic.
Port Cruises (Asia and Europe cruises)
I just finished my first port cruise. We visited a different port almost every single day spanning four countries. So, instead of partying everyday, we went and toured Thailand, Vietnam, Hongkong, Singapore, etc…and then partied at night.
Port cruises are typically much more expensive. The new Bali cruise starts at $3,400 per person. Yikes. So, the average age is much, much older. I was the youngest person on my cruise.
This means the music is slightly slower, expect a 70s tea dance, and the drag performers tune their acts to a different generation. It’s interesting.
Hope this info helps. If you like to drink, do a land cruise. I had an incredible birthday with my two closest friends. It was awesome.
If you like to dance and hook up, do a party cruise. Incredible music and very hot guys.
If you like to adventure, do a port cruise. Actually, if you’re a serious traveler and don’t need the gay element, don’t do a port cruise through Atlantis. Do your own thing.
Anonymous
Phil, that adorable cub friend of mine who travels with me to exotic locations, is super duper single.
Here’s a photo of him coming out of the water in slow-motion.
He’s one of the sweetest, most awesome people I know. We’ve traveled around the world, partied together, and I can say anybody would be lucky to be with Phil :D I’m thankful to be his friend.
Anyway, he’s single, read more about Phil on his blog here.
Anonymous
First, I’m sorry I’ve infiltrated your dreams. I’m just as flamboyant in person as I am in your subconscious.
Second, yes, please, share…
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