I decided to go on this whole sexual exploration journey... and I got bottomed the other night. But the guy said I was terrible. It was my first time... Any tips? Anything I should know for the future?
You got bottomed.
I’m still learning about sex, but I can’t tell if you were the receiving or intruding partner. So I shall answer both questions:
Dylan’s Tips for Bottoming:
- “Always keep a clean kitty.” Anal sex can happen at any time. It can surprise you. You could be innocently brushing your teeth and it’ll just HAPPEN TO YOU. So it’s important that you are always ready for it. It’s important that you keep a clean kitty. Wash yourself out well and eat a high-fiber diet to facilitate cleanliness. Buy a shower tool. Shave down there. Etc…
- New to bottoming? Make sure you start on top. This gives you more control and allows you to ease onto it. Tops love it because they can get a lot of reading done when you’re doing all the work!
- When you’re bottoming, it’s all about you. So give your tops positive reinforcement with moans when they do good and COMPLETE SILENCE when you aren’t enjoying yourself.
- Wear a condom. Barebacking feels amazing, but you should only do it with someone you absolutely trust.
Dylan’s Tips for Topping:
- Anal sex can HURT. So spend a lot of time with foreplay. Do lots of grinding against the hole and teasing. When they start begging for it, go slowly. Don’t just ram all 8-inches in at once.
- Pay attention to your bottom. Are they moaning for more? Or being COMPLETELY SILENT because they’re uncomfortable? Figure it out. Their pleasure is important, so make sure you know where their prostate is and pound away.
- Wear a condom. Barebacking feels much better for the top, but you should only do it with someone you absolutely trust.
I’ve gone back and forth on being a bottom or a top, and there are lessons to be learned from both sides. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t take these as absolutes: everyone does the sex different (I like to wear hats), so be open to trying new things and exploring your sexuality. You never know what you might end up liking.
Also, that guy sounds like a jerk face. Who says you’re bad at sex? That’s not very nice at all.