I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about my body dysmorphia but more often I post photos of my butt. I am in a D/s relationship with three wonderful pups. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

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I look at stocky guys and I feel this almost erotic kind of jealousy because I'd like to have a body like theirs, but I have a crush on this girl in my art class. does this mean I'm bisexual? I find bigger guys more attractive, but I'd still very much like to marry a wife, have kids, and start a family together.
Anonymous

Human Sexuality is not so black and white! There is much more than just gay/straight/bi. It’s possible to be physically attracted to men, but emotionally attracted to women.  It’s also possible to be gay and still want a nuclear family.

I sort of have a chart for this:

This radar chart graphs Human Sexuality of Gay (red) and Straight (blue) men across the five attributes that Dr Kinsey attributes to sexuality.

The Straight Male in my example is 100% Biologically Male (born as a male with full male parts), identifies as a male (uses the mens bathroom, etc),               expresses himself as a male (shops in Mens clothing stores, etc), is 100% attracted to the opposite sex, and affiliates with other men of the same identity.

The Gay Male in my example is just like his Straight counterpart, except he expresses himself a little less Masculinely, and is only attracted to the same sex.

Kinsey’s sexuality matrix allows for many degrees of expression across all these attributes.  You can be a Biological Male that Identifies as Female but Expresses as Androgynous, yet is Attracted to Men and Women equally, and affiliates with nobody.

Why can’t you have a Straight Family while only being sexually attracted to Gay Men? Plenty of Republicans do this already.

Browser and Operating System use by Gay Cliques
Using browser data from Gay Cliques Census respondents, we can see that the average Gay male is pretty tech savvy:

Nearly one-third of gay men use Macs, 80% use an up-to-date web browser and 10% took my survey on their iPhone!  
Nevertheless, this is the average.  Things get really interesting when we segment based on cliques:
Otters are the techiest of Gay Cliques, with nearly half of all Otters using a Mac over a PC and >90% up-to-date web browser.
Daddies are the least technical Gay Clique, they’re the highest users of Internet Explorer, and only ~40% have up-to-date web browsers.
Cubs and Twinks prefer Android to iPhones

Browser and Operating System use by Gay Cliques

Using browser data from Gay Cliques Census respondents, we can see that the average Gay male is pretty tech savvy:

Nearly one-third of gay men use Macs, 80% use an up-to-date web browser and 10% took my survey on their iPhone!  

Nevertheless, this is the average.  Things get really interesting when we segment based on cliques:

  • Otters are the techiest of Gay Cliques, with nearly half of all Otters using a Mac over a PC and >90% up-to-date web browser.
  • Daddies are the least technical Gay Clique, they’re the highest users of Internet Explorer, and only ~40% have up-to-date web browsers.
  • Cubs and Twinks prefer Android to iPhones

Sorry for not making any census-related updates for the past few months.  I had started to get bored and was working on other meaningful projects.
Nevertheless, I can’t believe I haven’t done this graph yet:
Where did these cliques come from?
As I’ve mentioned before, these cliques/labels/social groupings are automatically generated from survey input.  I didn’t come up with them, you guys did.  When there is enough data to be considered statistically significant, the clique is surfaced.  (Thats why bulls were added later).
What Cliques are people actually aware of?
This graph shows the top 17 cliques, ordered by the percent of people who are aware  of each clique.  At 93%, almost everyone knows what a Bear is, 1-in-3 know what a Chaser is, but very few people are aware of Bulls or Gainers.
This graph is pretty even across every dimension—age, clique, location, etc—except when it comes to Chickens.
What is a Chicken?  WIth only 21 people self-identifying as Chicken I can’t say what an average Chicken looks like.  Whatever they are, it seems to only be used by older generations and folks in the UK.  It has completely fallen out of use by the younger generation:

Chasers, Gainers, Bulls and Muscle Cubs are the most clique-conscious (aware of 18+ cliques on average) while Twinks and people who don’t associate with cliques are the least aware (10 or less on average).
At what point do these labels become bonafide Social Groups?  Bears and Cubs are certainly qualified with >90% awareness, but what about Bulls?  Only 1-in-5 people are aware of their existence.

Sorry for not making any census-related updates for the past few months.  I had started to get bored and was working on other meaningful projects.

Nevertheless, I can’t believe I haven’t done this graph yet:

Where did these cliques come from?

As I’ve mentioned before, these cliques/labels/social groupings are automatically generated from survey input.  I didn’t come up with them, you guys did.  When there is enough data to be considered statistically significant, the clique is surfaced.  (Thats why bulls were added later).

What Cliques are people actually aware of?

This graph shows the top 17 cliques, ordered by the percent of people who are aware  of each clique.  At 93%, almost everyone knows what a Bear is, 1-in-3 know what a Chaser is, but very few people are aware of Bulls or Gainers.

This graph is pretty even across every dimension—age, clique, location, etc—except when it comes to Chickens.

What is a Chicken?  WIth only 21 people self-identifying as Chicken I can’t say what an average Chicken looks like.  Whatever they are, it seems to only be used by older generations and folks in the UK.  It has completely fallen out of use by the younger generation:

image

Chasers, Gainers, Bulls and Muscle Cubs are the most clique-conscious (aware of 18+ cliques on average) while Twinks and people who don’t associate with cliques are the least aware (10 or less on average).

At what point do these labels become bonafide Social Groups?  Bears and Cubs are certainly qualified with >90% awareness, but what about Bulls?  Only 1-in-5 people are aware of their existence.

I’m sure everyone has experienced this phenomenon: the further away you are from someone you find attractive, the more they’re into you.  Meanwhile, undateable trolls are pretty much always into you at any distance.

I’m sure everyone has experienced this phenomenon: the further away you are from someone you find attractive, the more they’re into you.  Meanwhile, undateable trolls are pretty much always into you at any distance.

Remember when I threw-down some ghetto graphs with anonymous?
It’s a little rough, but I’ve released the tool that lets you create these charts for your tumblr blog.  Additionally, this tool analyzes the type of posts you make to tell you your “Blogging Style.”  (For example, I’m a Visual-Creator because I mostly post original photos).
Enjoy: The Simple Tumblr Stats Tool
Edit: I’ve updated the tool slightly to include details on who leaves you notes. Read about it here.

Remember when I threw-down some ghetto graphs with anonymous?

It’s a little rough, but I’ve released the tool that lets you create these charts for your tumblr blog.  Additionally, this tool analyzes the type of posts you make to tell you your “Blogging Style.”  (For example, I’m a Visual-Creator because I mostly post original photos).

Enjoy: The Simple Tumblr Stats Tool

Edit: I’ve updated the tool slightly to include details on who leaves you notes. Read about it here.

How does an incredibly handsome guy like yourself juggles being a creative director and building that perfect body of yours? In all honestly perhaps I am biased your body is the way a man body should look its such a perfect and balanced beefy muscle. Seriously, how do you do all of this?
bearbeef-deactivated20130612

Work is easy.  I *have* to be at work.  Lunch time is when I workout, then the evening is my free time where I work on personal projects and fret over how unhappy I am with my body.

I think it really helps to not have any friends. Otherwise I’d be hanging out instead of working on graphs, photo projects and doodling imaginary friends.

A new clique appeared tonight: Bulls
They were below the data-relevance threshold, but a bull from Canada just tipped the scale.
Bulls are essentially Muscle Bears, plus 60lbs of muscle.  And they really like Pups.

A new clique appeared tonight: Bulls

They were below the data-relevance threshold, but a bull from Canada just tipped the scale.

Bulls are essentially Muscle Bears, plus 60lbs of muscle.  And they really like Pups.

Presenting the Results Infographic for the Gay Cliques Census.
This is a collection of the previous charts I’ve done, in a more readable and interactive style.  Since the survey is ongoing, this infographic is updated live.  All the data represented is accurate to the last recorded response.
I’ve also created a (very simple) tool to help folks find out what they are based on averages for each Clique.  It works by finding which clique’s average you’re closest to based on the five physical attributes…so, it can be wrong sometimes.  We can make the tool better by getting more people taking the survey.
Enjoy!
Update: The identification tool had a bug and was pushing out very wrong answers. This has been resolved and should be showing much more accurate results now. Sorry about that!  Read about it here.

Presenting the Results Infographic for the Gay Cliques Census.

This is a collection of the previous charts I’ve done, in a more readable and interactive style.  Since the survey is ongoing, this infographic is updated live.  All the data represented is accurate to the last recorded response.

I’ve also created a (very simple) tool to help folks find out what they are based on averages for each Clique.  It works by finding which clique’s average you’re closest to based on the five physical attributes…so, it can be wrong sometimes.  We can make the tool better by getting more people taking the survey.

Enjoy!

Update: The identification tool had a bug and was pushing out very wrong answers. This has been resolved and should be showing much more accurate results now. Sorry about that!  Read about it here.

Bears VS Muscle Bears
Sorry for not making a survey update for the past few days.  I’ve been working on a “Live” infographic that will aggregate results in a more interactive way.  But, it’s a pain in the ass working with Google’s spreadsheet API.
Until I get that finished, here’s a radar chart showing the difference between Bears (orange) and Muscle Bears (blue).
Whats the difference between a Muscle Bear and a Bear-Bear?  Body fat and Age.
Muscle Bears are (on average) 10 years older than their Bear counterparts.
Bears are 20-30lbs heavier than Muscle Bears
The average waist size for Muscle Bears is 35”, while the average for Bears is 39”
What does this mean for Bears?  If you lose 20-30lbs of fat, you will double the amount of people who are into you.  Unless you live in New York.
This chart was made using Google’s Chart API, so feel free to take it apart.
This survey is ongoing, so please take it if you haven’t yet, or tell your friends to take it.  Especially if they’re older, a Muscle Bear, or a Twink.

Bears VS Muscle Bears

Sorry for not making a survey update for the past few days.  I’ve been working on a “Live” infographic that will aggregate results in a more interactive way.  But, it’s a pain in the ass working with Google’s spreadsheet API.

Until I get that finished, here’s a radar chart showing the difference between Bears (orange) and Muscle Bears (blue).

Whats the difference between a Muscle Bear and a Bear-Bear?  Body fat and Age.

  • Muscle Bears are (on average) 10 years older than their Bear counterparts.
  • Bears are 20-30lbs heavier than Muscle Bears
  • The average waist size for Muscle Bears is 35”, while the average for Bears is 39”

What does this mean for Bears?  If you lose 20-30lbs of fat, you will double the amount of people who are into you.  Unless you live in New York.

This chart was made using Google’s Chart API, so feel free to take it apart.

This survey is ongoing, so please take it if you haven’t yet, or tell your friends to take it.  Especially if they’re older, a Muscle Bear, or a Twink.

It’s time for Gay Interests by Region.
Half of people who took my survey gave me their location.  Using this information, I can see how region affects who you’re into.  (And what cliques exist where, but that’s later).  Just like my other heat graphs, the number in each box is the percentage from average that a region is into a clique.  (Eg, Florida is 9% more into Chubs than the average).  
There’s a lot of information in this graph, so please let me know if you have questions:
Bears are most popular in The Western States, and particularly popular in Los Angeles, where they’re ~19% more popular than everywhere else.
Bears are not very popular in The Northeast, especially in New York, where they’re ~19% less popular than everywhere else.
Cubs are popular almost everywhere.
Muscle Bears (like normal bears) are not very popular in The Northeast. But they’re really popular in The South.
The Midwest (especially Minnesota) is the most equal opportunity of all these regions, not caring about looks 4% more than everywhere else.
Atlanta and San Francisco are the most looks-centric.
You can summarize these results pretty simply:
The West loves Bears and Cubs, but not Daddies
The Midwest likes everyone except Twinks
The South is pretty obsessed with bears and muscle cliques, but really dislikes Daddies.
The Northeast is the only place where Twinks are popular and Muscle Bears are not.
The survey is ongoing, so please take it if you haven’t already, or tell your gay friends.  I’m only able to show the top cities and locations because many places don’t have enough data…but if more people take my survey I can show regional data with more confidence.

It’s time for Gay Interests by Region.

Half of people who took my survey gave me their location.  Using this information, I can see how region affects who you’re into.  (And what cliques exist where, but that’s later).  Just like my other heat graphs, the number in each box is the percentage from average that a region is into a clique.  (Eg, Florida is 9% more into Chubs than the average).  

There’s a lot of information in this graph, so please let me know if you have questions:

  • Bears are most popular in The Western States, and particularly popular in Los Angeles, where they’re ~19% more popular than everywhere else.
  • Bears are not very popular in The Northeast, especially in New York, where they’re ~19% less popular than everywhere else.
  • Cubs are popular almost everywhere.
  • Muscle Bears (like normal bears) are not very popular in The Northeast. But they’re really popular in The South.
  • The Midwest (especially Minnesota) is the most equal opportunity of all these regions, not caring about looks 4% more than everywhere else.
  • Atlanta and San Francisco are the most looks-centric.

You can summarize these results pretty simply:

  • The West loves Bears and Cubs, but not Daddies
  • The Midwest likes everyone except Twinks
  • The South is pretty obsessed with bears and muscle cliques, but really dislikes Daddies.
  • The Northeast is the only place where Twinks are popular and Muscle Bears are not.

The survey is ongoing, so please take it if you haven’t already, or tell your gay friends.  I’m only able to show the top cities and locations because many places don’t have enough data…but if more people take my survey I can show regional data with more confidence.

In the spirit of controversy, I’ve taken my previous chart with Cliques-into-Cliques, but now it’s broken down by age group.  Data has been weighted by group and normalized to prevent data skewing by over-represented groups.  (I’m looking at you, Bears).  The number shown is the percent difference from average.  (Eg, 17-and-younger is 17% more likely to be into Chubs than the average survey taker).
But why is this chart controversal?
Younger people (under 35) are more equal-opportunity than older people who took my survey.
Between 18-34 participants interest across cliques’ peaks.
Another way to look at this is that after 35, guys start to hone-in on what they want and become more exclusive to that type.
This downward trend starts to level off at 55+ (which is the upper limit of my data)
Guys 17-and-under REALLY like chubs.
Interest for Daddies drops steadily as we go up in age groups, but there’s this weird spike in Daddy lust around 45-54…before dropping again.
Please keep in mind that this is not progressive data; you aren’t necessarily going to stop liking something as you age.  What we’re seeing here is how different generations of gays like different cliques.
The survey is ongoing, so please take it if you haven’t already, or tell your gay friends.  There are some fringe cliques (Bulls, Wolfs and Gym Bunnies) that I have very little data on, and it would be nice to see how they fit in this chart.

In the spirit of controversy, I’ve taken my previous chart with Cliques-into-Cliques, but now it’s broken down by age group.  Data has been weighted by group and normalized to prevent data skewing by over-represented groups.  (I’m looking at you, Bears).  The number shown is the percent difference from average.  (Eg, 17-and-younger is 17% more likely to be into Chubs than the average survey taker).

But why is this chart controversal?

  • Younger people (under 35) are more equal-opportunity than older people who took my survey.
  • Between 18-34 participants interest across cliques’ peaks.
  • Another way to look at this is that after 35, guys start to hone-in on what they want and become more exclusive to that type.
  • This downward trend starts to level off at 55+ (which is the upper limit of my data)
  • Guys 17-and-under REALLY like chubs.
  • Interest for Daddies drops steadily as we go up in age groups, but there’s this weird spike in Daddy lust around 45-54…before dropping again.

Please keep in mind that this is not progressive data; you aren’t necessarily going to stop liking something as you age.  What we’re seeing here is how different generations of gays like different cliques.

The survey is ongoing, so please take it if you haven’t already, or tell your gay friends.  There are some fringe cliques (Bulls, Wolfs and Gym Bunnies) that I have very little data on, and it would be nice to see how they fit in this chart.


Hold on there, this is important.

Hi, I'm Noodles and Beef and welcome to my blog. How are you? Your hair looks great today. What's your secret? I think its important we get to know each other a little bit before you continue.

I've been updating this blog for over 13-years to help me remember and better appreciate my life experiences. I blog for my own benefit, so the content can be extremely personal and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable.

We just met, so I'm not sure what makes you uncomfortable.

Thats why you need to be at least 18-years-old to continue...and if it makes you uncomfortable, just stop reading my blog, okay?


I agree