Hello, Handsome.


I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about personal stuff but more often I post photos of my butt.

I'm a single, gay, 25-year-old who lives in San Francisco, and I do UX for a living. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

Popular Noodles


Latest Beef

You have amazing traps! So spill what's your secret for a sexy sexy bull neck?
Anonymous

A thick bull neck is the quickest way to make yourself look bigger.

The bigger your neck, the smaller your head will look by comparison.  Smaller head makes you look bigger.

Your neck responds to workouts very quickly and is one of the quickest building muscle groups, so don’t feel you need to overwork it.  

Some gyms have a neck machine, especially college football gyms.  If you have access to one, use it.  Otherwise, you can try the wrestler’s bridge to grow your bull neck.

Body Progress Update: 220lbs
I’ve been hovering around 220-225 for the past week, but I feel confident that I’m really at my weight goal.  I’ve dropped about 20lbs since my last update.  I had spent almost a year bulking relentlessly, and as the bulking progressed my diet relaxed. I became much chubbier than I had intended, prompting a few gym acquaintances to call me a super chub. You can REALLY see the weight loss difference in this comparison:

See the back rolls? See my ass? Apparently it all goes to my backside in the most unflattering way.  (Also, love handles).
I would post my measurements but I couldn’t find my tape measure! GAH!
Regardless, now that I’m back to 220lbs, I’m going to try bulking again. But this time, it’ll be much shorter. I will keep my diet in control and I will not bulk for more than 6 months.
Comparison: Here’s me the last time I was 220lbs, then 230lbs, and 240lbs in July.

Body Progress Update: 220lbs

I’ve been hovering around 220-225 for the past week, but I feel confident that I’m really at my weight goal.  I’ve dropped about 20lbs since my last update.  I had spent almost a year bulking relentlessly, and as the bulking progressed my diet relaxed. I became much chubbier than I had intended, prompting a few gym acquaintances to call me a super chub. You can REALLY see the weight loss difference in this comparison:

See the back rolls? See my ass? Apparently it all goes to my backside in the most unflattering way.  (Also, love handles).

I would post my measurements but I couldn’t find my tape measure! GAH!

Regardless, now that I’m back to 220lbs, I’m going to try bulking again. But this time, it’ll be much shorter. I will keep my diet in control and I will not bulk for more than 6 months.

Comparison: Here’s me the last time I was 220lbs, then 230lbs, and 240lbs in July.

New Routine

I’ve lost ~15lbs and am back down to 230lbs.  Most of the weight lost was fat, so I look a little more trim (10 more lbs and you’ll start seeing serious abs), but I want to take this weight-loss segue to try a completely different routine.  My old workout was a split routine inspired by Mr January’s workout.  It worked pretty well, but my body has grown used to the routine and I’m no longer growing.

I’m going to try Alexey Lesukov’s routine.  It’s obviously working for him:

Geeze. He’s only 23! Here’s the routine:

Monday: Chest + Triceps + Calves

  • Chest press: 4 x 8-10 reps
  • Incline bench press: 3 x 8-10 reps
  • Incline flys: 3x 8-10 reps
  • Ches press with closely grip: 4 x 8-10 reps
  • Dips: 3 x 9-12 reps
  • French presses: 3 x 8-10 reps
  • calv raises, standing: 4 x 12-15 reps
  • calv raises, sitting: 3 x 12-15 reps

Tuesday: Back

  • Chin-ups with closely grip: 4 x 8-11 reps
  • Cable lat pulldown, closely: 3 x 8-11 reps
  • Rowing (cable), closely: 3 x 8-11 reps
  • Rowing (cable), wide: 3 x 8-11 reps
  • Rowing (barbell): 4 x 12-15 reps

Wednesday: Rest Day

Thursday: Quads

  • Leg stretching: 4 x 8-10 reps
  • Squads: 3 x 8-10 reps
  • Leg press: 3 x 8-10 reps
  • Adductor machine: 3 x 9-10 reps

Friday: Shoulders + Neck + Biceps + Calves

  • Neck presses, standing: 4 x 8-10 reps
  • Side raising: 3 x 8-10 reps
  • Side raising (body parallel to floor): 3 x 8-10 reps
  • Curls (barbell): 4x 9-12 reps
  • Scott Curls: 3 x 10-12 reps
  • calv raises, standing: 4 x 12-15 reps
  • calv raises, sitting: 3 x 12-15 reps

Saturday: Hamstrings

  • Legcurls: 4 x 8-10 reps
  • Legcurls (with one leg): 3 x 8-10 reps
  • Legcurls, sitting: 4 x 8-10 reps

Sunday: Rest day

Sorry for the delay. I’m running out of SF landmarks.
Anyway.  Just like “Light Back” I don’t really recommend my back workout.  I have a very, very underdeveloped back…and I really need to figure out a better routine.  Anyway, Fridays is heavy back:
5 minutes of rows
Warm up with lat pull-downs at 125lbs for 15reps
Lat pull-downs: 4 sets of 6 reps at 230lbs
Bent-over rows: 4s/6r/135-175lbs
Elevated Cable Rows: 4s/6r/220lbs
Just one workout left: Heavy Legs.

Sorry for the delay. I’m running out of SF landmarks.

Anyway. Just like “Light Back” I don’t really recommend my back workout. I have a very, very underdeveloped back…and I really need to figure out a better routine. Anyway, Fridays is heavy back:

  • 5 minutes of rows
  • Warm up with lat pull-downs at 125lbs for 15reps
  • Lat pull-downs: 4 sets of 6 reps at 230lbs
  • Bent-over rows: 4s/6r/135-175lbs
  • Elevated Cable Rows: 4s/6r/220lbs

Just one workout left: Heavy Legs.

How long did it take for you to get were you are and what were you like when you began?
Anonymous

I didn’t seriously pursue working out till I turned 18.  Here’s my before/after from last year:

It’s taken about 6 years, and the progress has been more difficult lately, but here I am now at 240lbs:

Out of order, sorry!
Thursday is Heavy Chest:
Warm up with Bench Press at 135lbs for 15reps
Bench Press: 4 sets of 6-8 reps at 225-315lbs
Decline/Incline Bench Press: 4s/6r/255lbs
Pec Deck: 4s/6r/260lbs
Dips: 4s/6r/body weight (or more, if you can)

Out of order, sorry!

Thursday is Heavy Chest:

  • Warm up with Bench Press at 135lbs for 15reps
  • Bench Press: 4 sets of 6-8 reps at 225-315lbs
  • Decline/Incline Bench Press: 4s/6r/255lbs
  • Pec Deck: 4s/6r/260lbs
  • Dips: 4s/6r/body weight (or more, if you can)
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

I asked someone at the gym to take video of me doing squats so I could check my form.

Without a gym partner my form has…deteriorated.  It’s kind of depressing, and this is only a warm-up set!  Gah!

Another night photo.  Ugh.  The street lighting on my red-orange skin always makes me bleed saturation.  It looks over processed.
Anyway.  Even though Tuesday is “Heavy Shoulders” I do the exact same workout as Light Shoulders.  I don’t remember why…this is just how I do it.  I think I’m ready to switch this group up a bit.
Military Shoulder Press: 4 sets of 90-135lbs to exhaustion, alternating in front and behind your head
Standing Dumbbell Shoulder Flies: 4s/20-30lbs/exhaustion
Bend-over Dumbbell Shoulder Flies: 3s/30lbs/exhaustion
Dumbbell Upright Row: 3s/30lbs/exhaustion
Neck Machine (front, sides and back of neck): 4s/45lbs/exhaustion

Another night photo. Ugh. The street lighting on my red-orange skin always makes me bleed saturation. It looks over processed.

Anyway. Even though Tuesday is “Heavy Shoulders” I do the exact same workout as Light Shoulders. I don’t remember why…this is just how I do it. I think I’m ready to switch this group up a bit.

  • Military Shoulder Press: 4 sets of 90-135lbs to exhaustion, alternating in front and behind your head
  • Standing Dumbbell Shoulder Flies: 4s/20-30lbs/exhaustion
  • Bend-over Dumbbell Shoulder Flies: 3s/30lbs/exhaustion
  • Dumbbell Upright Row: 3s/30lbs/exhaustion
  • Neck Machine (front, sides and back of neck): 4s/45lbs/exhaustion
Not my best shot, but that Sutro Tower is hard to photograph!
Monday begins my Heavy Week with Arms.  Heavy Week is basically just Light Week with more weight and less reps.  As it was explained to me, alternating Heavy/Light workouts means you workout different types of muscle (slow vs fast twitch) giving you a more complete workout and letting your alternate muscle type more time to heal. That said, here’s Heavy Arms:
Warm up with 15 pull ups, close grip palms in
More pull ups: 4 sets of 6 reps at bodyweight, or with a dumbbell between your feet if you can handle extra weight
Dips (for triceps): 4s/12r/body weight + 25lbs
Standing Preacher Curls: 4s/6r/90lbs-130lbs
Skull crushers: 4s/6r/135lbs-170lbs
Close-grip benchpress: 4s/12r/135lbs-170lbs
Isolation Curls: 4s/6r/45lbs-70lbs

Not my best shot, but that Sutro Tower is hard to photograph!

Monday begins my Heavy Week with Arms. Heavy Week is basically just Light Week with more weight and less reps. As it was explained to me, alternating Heavy/Light workouts means you workout different types of muscle (slow vs fast twitch) giving you a more complete workout and letting your alternate muscle type more time to heal.

That said, here’s Heavy Arms:

  1. Warm up with 15 pull ups, close grip palms in
  2. More pull ups: 4 sets of 6 reps at bodyweight, or with a dumbbell between your feet if you can handle extra weight
  3. Dips (for triceps): 4s/12r/body weight + 25lbs
  4. Standing Preacher Curls: 4s/6r/90lbs-130lbs
  5. Skull crushers: 4s/6r/135lbs-170lbs
  6. Close-grip benchpress: 4s/12r/135lbs-170lbs
  7. Isolation Curls: 4s/6r/45lbs-70lbs
Took me a while to get to this because of certain Royal Pains…but here’s my leg workout for the Light Week:
Warm up with 3mins of stairs, alternating fast/slow each minute
Warm up squats at 225lbs for 15reps.
Squats: 4 sets of 12 reps at 315-425lbs
Abductor/Adductor: 4s/12r/125lbs
Calf Raises: 4s/12r/130lbs
Leg Curls: 4s/12r/70lbs (I’m new at doing these)
With this last workout, I now conclude Light Week:
Monday: Arms
Tuesday: Shoulders
Wednesday: Legs
Thursday: Chest
Friday: Back
Starting tomorrow I’ll post the Heavy Week portion.  Enjoy!

Took me a while to get to this because of certain Royal Pains…but here’s my leg workout for the Light Week:

  • Warm up with 3mins of stairs, alternating fast/slow each minute
  • Warm up squats at 225lbs for 15reps.
  • Squats: 4 sets of 12 reps at 315-425lbs
  • Abductor/Adductor: 4s/12r/125lbs
  • Calf Raises: 4s/12r/130lbs
  • Leg Curls: 4s/12r/70lbs (I’m new at doing these)

With this last workout, I now conclude Light Week:

Starting tomorrow I’ll post the Heavy Week portion.  Enjoy!

Again, out of order, sorry :(
Thursday is Light Chest day.  My chest is another body group that is very under developed.  But, ever since I started Mr January’s chest workout.  Honestly, he’s got the best pecs in San Francisco.  Like his back workout, this is highly recommended.  My only modification is the addition of the pecdeck, which he avoided because there was worry it could hurt his shoulder something. Anyway.  Thursday is Light Chest:
Warm up with Bench Press at 135lbs for 15reps
Bench Press: 4 sets of 12 reps at 225lbs
Incline (or decline, alternate bi-weekly) Bench Press: 4s/12r/185lbs
Pec Deck: 4s/12r/200lbs
Dips: 4s/12r/body weight

Again, out of order, sorry :(

Thursday is Light Chest day. My chest is another body group that is very under developed. But, ever since I started Mr January’s chest workout. Honestly, he’s got the best pecs in San Francisco. Like his back workout, this is highly recommended. My only modification is the addition of the pecdeck, which he avoided because there was worry it could hurt his shoulder something.

Anyway. Thursday is Light Chest:

  • Warm up with Bench Press at 135lbs for 15reps
  • Bench Press: 4 sets of 12 reps at 225lbs
  • Incline (or decline, alternate bi-weekly) Bench Press: 4s/12r/185lbs
  • Pec Deck: 4s/12r/200lbs
  • Dips: 4s/12r/body weight
Sorry for doing these out of order.  I blame my PA.
Anyway, Friday is Light Back.  My back is my most underdeveloped muscle group (next to my chest), but Mr January’s back workout has really helped it grow.
Lat Pulldowns: 4 sets of 120lbs, first set is 15 reps, subsequent sets are 12 reps
Elevated Cable Rows: 4s/12r/100lbs
Bent over rows: 4s/12r/90lbs
Hyper extensions: 4s/12r/body weight
If I had a bad leg workout, then I’ll usually do deadlifts at the end:
Deadlifts: 4s/12r/135lbs

Sorry for doing these out of order. I blame my PA.

Anyway, Friday is Light Back. My back is my most underdeveloped muscle group (next to my chest), but Mr January’s back workout has really helped it grow.

  • Lat Pulldowns: 4 sets of 120lbs, first set is 15 reps, subsequent sets are 12 reps
  • Elevated Cable Rows: 4s/12r/100lbs
  • Bent over rows: 4s/12r/90lbs
  • Hyper extensions: 4s/12r/body weight

If I had a bad leg workout, then I’ll usually do deadlifts at the end:

  • Deadlifts: 4s/12r/135lbs