Hello, Handsome.


I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about personal stuff but more often I post photos of my butt.

I'm a single, gay, 25-year-old who lives in San Francisco, and I do UX for a living. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

Popular Noodles


Latest Beef

Weigh In: 220.6 lbs

I’m certainly more defined, but I have lost considerable size. Frustrating!  I’ve also reached my mental capacity for body anxiety, and can no longer continue “cutting” because of how small I feel.  THEREFORE, I am officially beginning bulking.  Starting today.

Alexies’ routine is out, I’m going back to my old bodybuilding routine…but I’m changing the order of muscle groups to how Alexies does it.  Seems to make much more sense.  Triceps and Chest on the same day? Of course! Duh!

Diet is going back to my good ‘ol bulking regimen of excess calories and protein.  Will post diet logs shortly and a new routine hopefully.

Hypothetical! If you had the option to be granted your dream body in an instant, but in return have to give up your strength (down to the point of an average person), would you do it?
stupidgit

Yes!

I already made that decision when I switched from a powerlifting-centric routine to a hypertrophy routine.  Running on the routine from my powerlifting-ex, I was focused mostly on building strength and maximising my bodyweight to strength ratio.  I could lift nearly three-times my bodyweight…but I wasn’t growing much.

When I started dating Mr January, I started lifting less weight, but I grew much bigger and faster.

In a way, I’m already sacrificing strength for my “dream body.” Its just happening very, very slowly.  Sigh.

What is the best way to get rid of the stubborn fat on your stomach line? Any advice?
riceandchicken

I love your screen name, Rice and Chicken.

Plastic surgery aside, you can’t target parts of your body to lose fat. Your only option is to workout and lower your body fat percent over your entire body.

I know. That sounds super tedious.

Hi Noddles! One question, when working out have you gotten sore muscles afterwards and if yes how did fix or cope with them?
Anonymous

I actually love the sore feeling from a good workout. It’s reminder that I pushed myseld hard enough that I ripped muscle tissue and fascia and will be growing bigger later.

That said, I don’t try to minimize the sore feeling. Nevertheless, adding potassium supplement to your diet will help reduce the sore feeling, and has the added effect of helping you lose water weight.

You look really awesome, dude, but I'm curious about something: what made you go for a thicker look (like a football player almost) instead of a bodybuilder's look?
Anonymous

Genetics picked for me.

Even as a twink, I always had a very “sturdy” midsection and a broad neck-line.  100lbs later, my sturdiness has been amplified!  I doubt I could ever pull off the bodybuilder look; nobody in my family is able to get their mid-section lean enough…it’s a pacific islander thing, I think.

Ooo, I'm an xxl, and I mostly have problems with button ups that are loose on my mid section and that get tighter on my chest/back/shoulders/arms. Maybe I should try those shirts :o What is your h/w?
Anonymous

I haven’t taken my measurements in a while, but the only thing that’s changed recently is my waistsize:

  • Weight: 230lbs
  • Height: 5’8”
  • Chest: 51”
  • Biceps: 18”
  • Neck: 20”
  • Forearms: 14.5”
  • Thighs: 30.5”
  • Waist: 33”

My thighs used to be bigger than my waist…THAT was horrible for finding clothes.  I’ve eased up on my leg workouts and it’s really expanded my wardrobe options.

Another brand worth exploring is EXPRESS.  Their MX dress shirts are 1-4% lycra. The stretchiness gives them a flexible fit with a tailored feel; a staple for any wardrobe. Most of my dress shirts are from EXPRESS!

Edit: Pants question

Zachrisso wanted to know what brands of pants work for my body type.

Again, EXPRESS uses 1-4% lycra in their dress pants, which is great for guys that have very large thighs and a trim waist.  Check our their PRODUCER pant, I have four of them…they’re very rump-flattering.  

Bonobos also sells a few stretch cotton pants, and occasionally offers seasonal colours.  (Like my white stretch pants!)  The quality of Bonobos is much better than EXPRESS, and they use cotton, unlike the stretch-wool options provided by EXPRESS.  I highly recommend them…and if you don’t like their pants, you get a free return shipping label to exchange them or return them completely.

If anyone is interested, I have a $25 off coupon for Bonobos.

Ok, so getting an answer to this has been an issue and I have asked any number of people, how can one build size with their workout in an authentically natural way i.e. no supplements etc?
Anonymous

Any anaerobic routine will allow you to to build size, albiet very slowly. Supplements can help reduce the healing time of your torn fascia which results in slightly faster growth.

The only clinically-proven supplement that’s legal is Creatine Monohydrate. I use it in all my shakes and before workouts. I can usually lift 20-30lbs more weight while on Creatine.

What are some good exercises (besides lunges -- I have bad knees) that can help me work out my butt? I want a nice ass for my man!
Anonymous

There are only two workouts I do for my butt:

  1. Squats
  2. Good Girls / Bad Girls

Back when I was the Art Director at COLT, I had a training session with one of our COLT stable hands.  The trick to getting the shelf-ass is the abductor/adductor machine.

The trick to this machine is to position yourself so that you work the glutes’ instead of the sides of your legs. You do this by pushing your lower back away from the seat.  We call it Good Girls/Bad Girls because the new form for this exercise is much dirtier than it should be.

Hey Noodles! You posted something a while back about kettlebells...I've just started working them into my workout to train for Tough Mudder. What's a good place to buy kettlebells?
theadventuresoftheliberalsexual

Kettlebells are freakin’ awesome. Everyone should play with them.  You can buy regular bells anywhere, but this company sells “designer” bells that would look cooler in your house:

Awesome, right? I want to get one for my apartment. Use it as a doorstop when I’m not tossing it around.

You should try running, or at least a different cardio.
Anonymous

Besides typing at 125WPM, I ride my bike ~6.4 miles each day.  I think I’m set for cardio, but I would like to get back into swimming in the mornings.

I’m just worried that too much cardio (while good for my heart) is bad for my bulking goals.

ive seen how you looked liked when you strated lifting, but what was your routine when you started at 18? And what supplements did you take?
Anonymous

My bodybuilder dad had started me on a variation of German Volume Training, and it worked really well for building strength but not size.  I didn’t really take supplements when I was younger.

just curious, how long does your workout session usually take you? I just started doing Alexey Lesukov's routine myself and I've cut my gym time down to about 40 minutes and it just felt way too short...
Anonymous

I can usually finish my workout in under an hour. I’ve read that working out for over an hour is unnecessary.