Noodles and Beef

downrightdebonaire asks:
What is your average workout time? From in the door to walking out?

30mins when working out by myself.

Unless you’re a chemical bodybuilder, your workouts shouldn’t exceed 60mins a day or you risk over training.

Edit: and if you are a chemical bodybuilder, you should be working out all the time because you don’t have to worry about over training.  See Rich Piana’s 8-hour arm workout.

hairybearsbeardsbellies asks:
Question, what is your fav Pre-Workout drink?!

What’s a good pre-workout?

  • Makes you focused, alert, and improves performance. (Stimulants).
  • Preferentially sends blood to muscle tissue to help with recovery and give a good pump. (NO Boosters).

I used to use convenient powdered pre-workouts like hyper shock (highly recommended) or mesomorph (please don’t use, it was pulled by the FDA because it contained meth-like stimulants).  But, these things are just expensive formulations of stimulants and NO Boosters.  Its easier to just buy caffeine tablets, L-Arginine, Creatine, and drink beet juice.

Here’s my current pre-workout:

  • 1 cup of cold brew kona coffee (served black over ice).
  • 2.5mg of tadalafil

Coffee is super cheap and effective stimulant and tadalafil is an extremely potent NO booster with minimal side effects.  Tadalafil requires a prescription in America, but is a very popular black market drug. You should try to get it legally, but if you can’t, beet juice is a really good alternative.

Squat rack was taken.

Soooo…Twenty-two 45-pound plates for 990lbs at six reps.

Yes, I know it doesn’t mean anything because its leg press.

Still very happy I finally maxed out the machine.

Improving locker room ux

Has this happened to you?

You just finished your workout and some jerk is blocking your locker because his locker is near yours. Then you have to awkwardly watch him spend ten minutes changing because they don’t teach gym etiquette in asshole school.

Of course it’s happened to you. It’s happened to everyone. It’s mathematically unavoidable if you workout during rush hour.

How do we fix the locker room user experience?

1. Automated Queueing

Lockers are assigned at check-in with generous distribution ensuring people are spaced out when they change. 

PROS: No uncomfortable locker room interactions, no waiting for lockers, easy to implement.
CONS: Breaks down during rush hour, algorithmic distribution based on average workout time might not work at all.

2. Locker Valet

Similar to clothes check at a sex club, lockers are accessed on demand, letting gym goers pick a place to change once they have their stuff.

PROS: No uncomfortable locker room interactions
CONS: Waiting for your valet sucks

Anonymous asks:
Were your calves always big? What would you suggest to bulk up legs, especially calves?

The chart above shows my average calf measurement and bodyweight over the last 10 years.

I’ve gained over 100 pounds of muscle and my calves haven’t really changed much.

If you believe my calves are big now, then yes, they have always been “big” because they haven’t changed much since I started bodybuilding.

Calf size and shape is largely determined by genetics. There is no advice I can give here.

Anonymous asks:
What is a way to tell you are really pushing yourself when you workout? When you keep going that rep when your muscle starts to hurt or tighten, or past that? I ask since am not sure am pushing myself.

If you are unsure if you’re pushing yourself hard enough, then you are not pushing yourself hard enough.

Gym sighting: Shower Daddy

Ahh, I’ve missed these.  #gym-sighting is an art project where I draw someone I saw while working out, usually accompanied by some erotic fiction.

This beefy fella was in the shower with his gym glove.  How could I not draw him?

I’m a little rusty.  Forgive me.

Thin. Awkward. Dirt skinned.  Heath inhaled sharply.  It was as if a lifetime of erotic fantasies involving his exact opposite had manifested into a physical form.  There he was, struggling to do bicep curls in the smith machine while wearing jeans, like he’d never been in a gym before.

Fuck me.” Heath growled to himself, his cock straining against his gym shorts.

The twinkish ingénu sashayed from the gym floor to the locker-room.  Heath was in hot pursuit, sniffing the air, following the lingering scent of the boy’s body lotion.  It was pina colada.

“The showers.  Of course.”  Heath kicked off his gym shorts and tanktop in one swift motion.  There was no time to put them away in his locker or remove his left gym glove.

The boy was fussing with the shower knob, tweaking it slightly before gingerly testing the temperature with his toe.

Heath sauntered past, taking the next closest shower head with his right hand to adjust the stream for his 6-foot-2-inch frame.  He closed his eyes, arched his back, and slowly pushed his meaty rump back like he was offering the kid a couple Christmas hams.  

In his erotic fantasies, this is where the cripplingly awkward kid would approach him.  Break the silence with his cracking, pre-pubescent voice.  Usually a painfully weak pickup line about how he looked like a superhero from his favourite indy comic.  The graceless lack of bravado was his kryptonite, stronger than any bondage…it made him powerless, vulnerable, weak.  

…And he loved it.

taric25 asks:
My brother and I lift together, and his biggest complaint about the protein supplements that he used to take is that it felt like more work trying to eat protein, through shakes or bars, than his actual workout. I felt the same, to a lesser degree, until I discovered isopure, in the glass bottle. I mix it a fruit punch flavor of beef protein isolate, which he tried and loved. "It's like drinking a Gatorade, very refreshing!" What are your thoughts and recommendations?


Here we have that same chart I made yesterday, but now the bubbles are colour-coded and sized based on my tasting notes. The smaller and more green the bubble, the worse it tastes.  The bigger and more blue the bubble, the better it tastes.

You can play with the interactive chart here.

What do we learn from this chart?

  • Hydrolyzed Whey is the cheapest and best absorbed, but tastes so bad I want to barf every. single. time. that I drink it.  (Nevertheless, its still my primary source of protein).
  • Peanuts are the cheapest and best tasting source of protein, but kind of suck at bio-availability.
  • IsoPure tastes the best, but is so expensive that it becomes cost-prohibitive to use for building muscle.
  • Egg whites are the median for taste, price, and bio-availability.
3ouple asks:
Hey there! Wanted to ask you a quick question in regards to body building / protein powder. My goal (this is Dylan typing) is to get bigger/beefier. I've tried regular whey protein and beef protein powder, and I was curious which you think works better...

What protein works better?

Let’s define “better” as protein that best helps us achieve the goal of gaining muscle mass. We want to get as much protein into our bodies as possible, so we’ll need a protein with high bio-availability that is cheap enough to eat a lot of it.


Here is a chart comparing price per gram of protein vs the bio-availability index of that protein.  You can view an interactive version here.

Beef isolate is about average for price/gram, but has pretty poor bio-availability. I would not recommend it.  Try these instead:

20lbs down in my first month of cutting. I woke up this morning to a vein on my stomach. I estimate 10lbs until firmly visibly six pack.


New pr on my worst lift ever, deads.