I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about my body dysmorphia but more often I post photos of my butt. I am in a D/s relationship with three wonderful pups. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

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@zantielzeno asks:

Hello! Love your blog and I have a question for you, I’m just starting my role as a pet and wondering if you had possibly created a basic guide to what a pet should have? Like maybe a wish list full of suggested items on eBay or the likes? Thanks for reading this anyways :3

You don’t need anything to be a pet, sub, Dom, whatever.  Thats silly.  Expensive gear is an accessory to your sexuality, not a prerequisite. 

Nevertheless, gear is sexy and can help get you into that headspace by making you more confident in your role.  Here are some outfits to get you started:

The lil’ pup look

Sporty meets eager in this hot jock-inspired sub look that will score any coach.  Strip down to just the jock for a more extreme look.

The Master Look

Who says Dom’s can’t have fun? The Mr S Leather suspenders converts into a harness for when you go out and convenient phone/flogger holster means one less thing for your boy to hold.

The Big Pup look

Bulldog in the streets, big puppy in the sheets.  Subtle BDSM-inspired accessories turns your dull office look into kinky boardroom bulldog.

I'm a little confused about your arrangement (in a curiosity way, not in a don't do that way - that would be icky), so who is engaged and how many of you are together? *confused* And also what's a penis birthmark? Ps you are SO SO handsome. So are all the guys you post <3
Anonymous

Guess its time to do a family tree.

I’m the Dom to three collared subs: big pup, lil pup, and alpha pup.  They address me as Master and I call them my pups.  (Though, by old guard definition they’re closer to slaves, but we don’t like that word).  I also have friends who are subs or identify as pup but our relationship is non-sexual.

My pups start with a training collar, then earn my full collar, and after they fulfil a year contract I can consider them for my brand.

And some time after big pup earned my brand, I proposed to him.

Everyone does power exchange or D/s relationships a little differently.  I don’t think I’ve ever written it all out, so I hope this helps.

…Whats a penis birthmark?  Its a very small dot of slightly darker skin that is on (surprise) the penis.

Do you tend to go for/ attracted to guys with similar build to you, or is it mix and match?
deadfvcr

Here are some of the bodies I’ve been in a relationship with:

As you can see, I’ve been with all kinds of bodies.  I’m physically attracted to a certain kind of guy, but have never limited myself to that as I’m most attracted to innocence.  If you look closely, you’ll see none of these bodies are similar to my look.  (Or at least, not how I think I look).

Message from Marcus B:

hi, I discovered your blog a few weeks ago and completely smitten, not sure whether i prefer the hunky pups or the amazing food you guys eat! Anyway, I was reading your post on how to handle pups that were larger than you and wondered whether you had any other tips, I&#8217;m a totally submissive cub but the only problem I have is being 6&#8217;2 and built really naturally big, as in shoulders that fill a doorway and this really intimidates a lot of doms, do you have any suggestions for anything that I could do or ways a top could handle me better? Id really appreciate it and keep up the awesome work with this blog!

My last post was all about how a Dom can get a bigger partner to submit, but it required previous interaction and trust. Let&#8217;s look at it from the big sub&#8217;s perspective:
How can a bigger sub attract the attention of a Dom?
Even after dominating my alpha pup, he will stand up to his full 6&#8217;2&#8221; height and I can&#8217;t help but feel intimidated.  The issue is social programming: bigger guys are seen as more Dominant because of their relative size difference with everyone shorter.  
An experienced Dom can pick up on your submissive cues regardless of size or other physical markers of dominance. But, you can help make this easier by expressing your submissive side more obviously:
Dress the part

I&#8217;m not saying you should go out dressed like a sexy kitten maid, but there are accessories that can help indicate your submissive role.  Harnesses, collars (no lock), bondage inspired jewelry, sometimes even the right hankey can flag your desired role.
These suggestions won&#8217;t work for everyone.  Ultimately, you should wear something that resonates with you.  If you feel sexy in a jockstrap, wear it.
Know your submissive cues


Submissive cues aren&#8217;t universal, but there are certain behaviours that signal to me someone is more submissively inclined.  Avoiding eye contact, keeping head down, asking for permission, being overly courteous, polite, respectful, and addressing me as &#8220;Sir&#8221; are hard to miss signs.
Reflect on your own submissive dialog and speak that&#8230;if you feel being submissive means carrying someone&#8217;s bag or bringing them a drink, do that.  It&#8217;ll help attract a Dom who is compatible with your needs.

Message from Marcus B:

hi, I discovered your blog a few weeks ago and completely smitten, not sure whether i prefer the hunky pups or the amazing food you guys eat! Anyway, I was reading your post on how to handle pups that were larger than you and wondered whether you had any other tips, I’m a totally submissive cub but the only problem I have is being 6’2 and built really naturally big, as in shoulders that fill a doorway and this really intimidates a lot of doms, do you have any suggestions for anything that I could do or ways a top could handle me better? Id really appreciate it and keep up the awesome work with this blog!

My last post was all about how a Dom can get a bigger partner to submit, but it required previous interaction and trust. Let’s look at it from the big sub’s perspective:

How can a bigger sub attract the attention of a Dom?

Even after dominating my alpha pup, he will stand up to his full 6’2” height and I can’t help but feel intimidated.  The issue is social programming: bigger guys are seen as more Dominant because of their relative size difference with everyone shorter.  

An experienced Dom can pick up on your submissive cues regardless of size or other physical markers of dominance. But, you can help make this easier by expressing your submissive side more obviously:

Dress the part

I’m not saying you should go out dressed like a sexy kitten maid, but there are accessories that can help indicate your submissive role.  Harnesses, collars (no lock), bondage inspired jewelry, sometimes even the right hankey can flag your desired role.

These suggestions won’t work for everyone.  Ultimately, you should wear something that resonates with you.  If you feel sexy in a jockstrap, wear it.

Know your submissive cues

Submissive cues aren’t universal, but there are certain behaviours that signal to me someone is more submissively inclined.  Avoiding eye contact, keeping head down, asking for permission, being overly courteous, polite, respectful, and addressing me as “Sir” are hard to miss signs.

Reflect on your own submissive dialog and speak that…if you feel being submissive means carrying someone’s bag or bringing them a drink, do that.  It’ll help attract a Dom who is compatible with your needs.

HELP!! Hey Dylan I need your help, i really really REALLY want to buy a camera but I don't want to spend so much. Do you know of a good affordable camera that takes good pictures but won't make my bank account die of starvation?
pup-brutus

Oh boy, something I’m good at: buying cameras.

I’m a firm believer that the best camera is the one you have on you, so my gear usually favours portability over performance.

Noodles and Beef’s camera guide

image

$100-$200 range

My first camera was a Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ5.  Bought it from Costco at the recommendation of wooferstl when I was starting my 365 project.  Its a great introductory camera with excellent auto controls and a small, portable size that makes shooting easy.

See my Lumix photos here or Buy it here.

$200-$400 range

My first DSLR (bigger sensor, better photos, more manual control) camera was a Olympus E-PL1. It was horrible. I spent a lot of time after returning it researching DSLR cameras before settling on the SONY NEX-5.  Its been my camera of choice for the last four years.  The photo quality is amazing and being able to edit RAW photos really expanded my hobby.

See my NEX-5 photos here or Buy it here ~$400 (used for $200).

$$$MONEY IS NO OBJECT

After years of slowly trading up, I’ve finally got myself a full frame camera, the SONY A7R.  I’ve only had mine for a couple days, but am loving using such an advanced camera.

See my A7R photos here or buy it here ~$2,200

@stupidthick sent me a very sweet message about my proposal to big pup, and wants to know where I get the need to be so thoughtful.
Thank you for the nice message!  I&#8217;m really glad you like my blog and the affectionate gestures I perform for my pups.  
Why am I so thoughtful?
Thoughtfulness is the appropriate expression of all five forms of affection:
Physical affection (touching, kissing, sex, etc&#8230;)
Intimacy (one-on-one time involving undivided attention)
Gifts (flowers, tokens of affection, food, etc&#8230;)
Service (cleaning, cooking, chores, etc&#8230;)
Affirmation (kind, affectionate, appreciative statements that recognize the importance of the person receiving them)
Everyone expresses and receives love differently.  I used to believe physical affection was the only way to express love and had a very difficult time accepting love in other forms.  It has taken some time to train myself to accept these other kinds of affection, but in doing so I&#8217;ve learned how to give affection to people who can&#8217;t receive physical gestures. 

While traveling Asia, I had scheduled deliveries of flowers, food, and heartfelt letters to remind my pups how special and important they are to me while I&#8217;m gone.
Why is it so hard to tell people you love them?  I hate the taboo that prevents us from being affectionate.
Perhaps thats why I&#8217;m so &#8220;thoughtful.&#8221;  I just love to show love.  I get incredible satisfaction from giving it.

@stupidthick sent me a very sweet message about my proposal to big pup, and wants to know where I get the need to be so thoughtful.

Thank you for the nice message!  I’m really glad you like my blog and the affectionate gestures I perform for my pups.  

Why am I so thoughtful?

Thoughtfulness is the appropriate expression of all five forms of affection:

  1. Physical affection (touching, kissing, sex, etc…)
  2. Intimacy (one-on-one time involving undivided attention)
  3. Gifts (flowers, tokens of affection, food, etc…)
  4. Service (cleaning, cooking, chores, etc…)
  5. Affirmation (kind, affectionate, appreciative statements that recognize the importance of the person receiving them)

Everyone expresses and receives love differently.  I used to believe physical affection was the only way to express love and had a very difficult time accepting love in other forms.  It has taken some time to train myself to accept these other kinds of affection, but in doing so I’ve learned how to give affection to people who can’t receive physical gestures. 

While traveling Asia, I had scheduled deliveries of flowers, food, and heartfelt letters to remind my pups how special and important they are to me while I’m gone.

Why is it so hard to tell people you love them?  I hate the taboo that prevents us from being affectionate.

Perhaps thats why I’m so “thoughtful.”  I just love to show love.  I get incredible satisfaction from giving it.

Is your life as perfect as you make it out to be?
Anonymous

Its all in the eyes of the beholder, anon.  I think my life is pretty awesome, but its not without negative parts:

Again, its all in the eyes of the beholder.  I’m aware of the things in my life that aren’t “perfect” and am actively working to make them better so I can be a better person.

But what is “perfect” without some struggle?  I couldn’t appreciate the good parts of my life if it weren’t for the bad ones.

I don’t do these memes, sorry @cornfedmusclepup, but after completing my Taipei 101 hotel backside shot, I realized I’ve got seven such portraits in this unofficial project.  I shall name the project Hotel Butts.  

Presenting: the hotel backside project, where I take photos of my butt in the place I’m staying. Left to right, top to bottom, Wynn Las Vegas, a train car to PortlandSingapore hotela penthouse in Acapulco, a boutique hotel in Playa del Carmen, and a condo in West Hollywood.

How we raised the money: I had a few extra calendars left over and auctioned them off along with a life size noodlesandbeef dakimakura.

I was not convinced it would be a successful fund raiser…I was very surprised with the turn out. I guess I really do have a lot of readers in Asia! Thank you, everyone who came. Sorry I&#8217;m so awkward.

How we raised the money: I had a few extra calendars left over and auctioned them off along with a life size noodlesandbeef dakimakura.

I was not convinced it would be a successful fund raiser…I was very surprised with the turn out. I guess I really do have a lot of readers in Asia! Thank you, everyone who came. Sorry I’m so awkward.

carnenchiladas:

Master sent us a chef prepared dinner and flowers to remind us how much he loves us, and that he thinks of us all the time even while he’s away. Love you sooooo much, Master! Come home soon, we miss you!

I love my pups!  I&#8217;m sending daily tokens of affection during my trip, from small reminders of my love to catered meals keeping them on track with their diet. Anything I can to show them how special they are when I can&#8217;t do it in person.
Sigh, I miss you both so much&#8230;can&#8217;t wait to come home.

carnenchiladas:

Master sent us a chef prepared dinner and flowers to remind us how much he loves us, and that he thinks of us all the time even while he’s away. Love you sooooo much, Master! Come home soon, we miss you!

I love my pups!  I’m sending daily tokens of affection during my trip, from small reminders of my love to catered meals keeping them on track with their diet. Anything I can to show them how special they are when I can’t do it in person.

Sigh, I miss you both so much…can’t wait to come home.

Reblogged from carnenchiladas
Friday, July 11th: Chuck pup earned my training collar. Look at that smile :D
This is an experiment. We’re going to flesh out a contract to try and address some short and long term goals…starting with having an awesome time in ptown!

Friday, July 11th: Chuck pup earned my training collar. Look at that smile :D

This is an experiment. We’re going to flesh out a contract to try and address some short and long term goals…starting with having an awesome time in ptown!


Hold on there, this is important.

Hi, I'm Noodles and Beef and welcome to my blog. How are you? Your hair looks great today. What's your secret? I think its important we get to know each other a little bit before you continue.

I've been updating this blog for over 13-years to help me remember and better appreciate my life experiences. I blog for my own benefit, so the content can be extremely personal and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable.

We just met, so I'm not sure what makes you uncomfortable.

Thats why you need to be at least 18-years-old to continue...and if it makes you uncomfortable, just stop reading my blog, okay?


I agree