Posts tagged featured
San Francisco is one of the three “Flagging Capitols” of the world, followed by Sydney, and Palm Springs. It’s kind of a big thing here. Most parties I go to have flag-friendly spaces or dedicated stages where flaggers are free entertainment for club-goers.
Flagging transcends gay cliques and is one of the few times you’ll see Bears, Twinks, Chubs, Muscle Bears, Leather folk, and Faeries put aside their subculture bias to party with each other.
Outside the flagging oasis that is San Francisco, this style of dance is largely unheard of to my generation. Not because it went out of style, like raves or hula hoops, but because advancements in technology (cellphones, Facebook, dating apps, etc) and gay rights have made flagging unnecessary.
But first, some gay history…
Gay Culture is notorious for adopting a dying art and making it our own:
- Country Line Dancing (an original American folk dance) was on the brink of extinction when Gays resurrected it. Most Line Dancing bars are gay these days.
- The VHS Head Cleaner industry was looking death in the eye as DVDs went mainstream…then gays found a unique use for the cleaning product and saved an industry.
- Madonna, a musical demon, needs attention to maintain her youth and immortality. Unable to resist the siren call of a failing diva, Gays rushed in and provide life-sustaining adoration.
Boats used to communicate to each other using Semaphore, a morsecode-like language where the alphabet is signaled using a pair of bright flags. With the advent of radio, semaphore was quickly becoming a dying language…until Gays adopted it.
Back then, Gays needed a discrete (yet fabulous) way to communicate with one another…and Semaphore still had the masculine association of being a Naval/Maritime language. It was destiny.
Flagging quickly spread through the gay underground. Regional dialects like vogueing and fanning soon followed, but the movements remain largely the same. (Fun fact: DTF used to stand for Down to Flag).
As gays became more widely accepted, there was no longer a need to disguise our communications with a secret language like flagging…and with the technological advancement of texting, cell phones, and dating apps, the new generation of gays have never needed a more colourful way to communicate.
These days, we don’t flag to communicate, but to remember our vibrant struggle as a community. The flagging community has created a living mentorship system, your first flags are gifted to you by your Flag Daddy, who teaches you the art and language of our people. When you’re ready, you make your own flags using silk and tie dye.
I’m still learning, but I’ve posted some photos and video of flagging if anyone is interested.
Anonymous
Nope. We good now. (For everyone reading, this is in response to this post, and about a dozen mean anonymous messages).
I know there’s more to this. Like that you kinda hate me. But, if its really jealousy fueled, maybe you should use that energy more productively?
I have trouble with jealousy:
- I’m jealous of people who have healthy relationships with their parents because mine didn’t accept me for being gay right away. (Or at all, in a couple cases).
- I’m jealous of folks who were supported through college because I had to support myself working full-time through school.
- I’m jealous of Phil’s amazing butt, my pup’s huge arms, and every white fella for their not dirt skin because I hate my body.
You should never be jealous of someone else, especially me. You have things I’m jealous of, you have things lotsa folks could be jealous of.
Instead of being jealous of what you don’t have, use that energy in a constructive way. I hate my body, but I don’t lash out at all you gorgeous men on tumblr, I take that energy to the gym and cry myself to sleep sometimes.
No, but, seriously. Thank you for manning up and sending this message. Thank you.
Our relationship is like any other. I love my partner as my best friend, I love him romantically, I love him passionately. (I even made a chart about this).
We push each other to be more than we are, we’ve hurt each other, we’ve made up, we party together, we trust each other…our relationship really is like any other.
…with one small twist.
Does everyone remember how Hocus Pocus ended? The kids stall the witches just long enough for the sun to destroy them and everyone lived happily ever after, etc?
What if the witches had won? They sucked the life-force from Max’s younger sister and went on to terrorize the modern world with their magic.
Fast-forward 20-years.
Camera pans through a war-stricken planet. In those 20-years, the Witches have enslaved much of humanity using their undead army. Our advanced war technologies were no match for their dark magic and necromancy.
A war-torn Max, Allison, and their immortal/cursed cat Binx lead the resistance. Equipped with some enchanted futuristic weapons and a handful of torn pages from the witches’ spell book, they are humanity’s last chance.
In a few days, the Mayan-predicted planetary equinox will occur, and the witches will finally be able to open a portal to hell for their king Lucifer.
Hocus Pocus 2: A Hocus Pocalypse
Original cast reprise their roles in this dark, magic/sci-fi, thriller reboot of the original movie.
Tumblr, lets make this sequel happen.
Anonymous
10 years is really hard to project. I usually only do my 1, 3 and 5 year projections during my personal review.
But I’ll try for you, anonymous.
1 year: Realistically, I hope to be 280lbs at my current body fat percent. I’ll still be working at the same company. Will be searching for a house in San Francisco.
3 years: I will have either overcome my BDD or continue to bulk till I hit 300lbs. 50% chance I’ll still be working at my current company, but at a more relevant Director role. I’ll have purchased my home in San Francisco.
5 years: Finally comfortable with my body, I’ll do what all the other SF gays do and join some poly relationship to save money on my mortgage payment. I will no longer be working for the company I was with 5 years ago and will probably be flirting with the idea of starting my own design or marketing firm.
10 years:
Camera pans over an ocean-flooded San Francisco. A new version of Swine Flu that Gay Men are immune to has wiped out 80% of the world’s population.
Smash-cut to a 36-year-old Noodles and Beef looking distantly at Earth from his space condo, played by the 3D model they use for the Incredible Hulk, voiced by that guy in the Green Mile. The “Straight Plague” has ravaged the world, leaving future me with a super sexy scar that runs over my eye, and a streak of silver grey hair from stress and Just For Men.
After a series of trade-ups, I was able to exchange my San Francisco estate for enough BitCoins to move to New San Francisco: the space colony that hovers in geo-synchronous orbit just above the patch of ocean where San Francisco used to be.
Through careful split testing and focus grouping, I’ve crafted the most clever twitter update ever, closing twitter and earning me enough klout to never need to work again. As an abuse of my new klout score, the Dylan Pose becomes the official successor to the high-five.
Global warming has turned most of the planet into beach-front property with Miami-like climate. So that turned out better than anyone could’ve hoped for, and it’s now socially acceptable to wear swim jockstraps as evening wear.
Future-Dylan puts down his 45-grams-of-protein-workout-shake-jelly-bean to take a call from his holo-iPhone. Its a gay future, so phones are answered through a series of complex voguing gestures. It sucks, isn’t very intuitive, but Apple made it the new interface on their new touch-screen-less phone, so now it’s the standard on everything.
After 5-minutes of voguing through the phone menu, a handsome hologram appears. We exchange Dylan Poses, as is customary in the future, and laugh heartily over the current poke battle between mutual friends on Facebook. I bid farewell to my handsome caller, accidentally making the gesture for email-nudes-to-all-contacts-and-delete-DVR when I wave good-bye.
Fin.
Jumping at Vin Pearl Island in Vietnam. The nicer beach we went to on our trip.
windsofravenclawcub
With a couple thrifty exceptions, I plan all my vacations exactly one year in advanced. I estimate the price of travel, accommodations, food, and money for buying stuff while abroad. We’ll call this “The Cost of Vacation.” Or, “tCoV” for short.
Because I plan things a year in advanced, I’m able to leverage a secret economic strategy called “saving.” Take your tCoV amount and divide it by 12 months. Suddenly that trip is not so expensive, you just have to be patient until your “savings” catches up to your “tCoV.”
Here’s an example:
- Let’s say the tCoV for a trip to Australia would be $2,400
- You would only need to save $200 each month for a year till you could afford your trip to Australia.
It should also be noted that you’re seeing my vacations and trips through a very carefully curated view: I only post cool photos. So, it might seem like all I live a luxurious life of jet setting and muscle bears, but there’s a lot that doesn’t get captured by my camera…like the face I make when my debit card gets declined, or the many late nights I spend at the office so I can have money for these trips.
I might make it seem effortless as I prance through a montage of fancy locales, but money is an omnipresent part of my life. I know exactly how much my time is worth, and I can reverse every dollar I spend to the amount of time I spent earning it. Meaning, if you get paid $10/hr and you buy a $20 steak dinner, that steak dinner cost you two hours of your life that you will NEVER get back. So that steak dinner better last you at least two hours, or it’s not worth your time.
There are other tricks…like, this time next year I’m not sure what my vacation will be. Pup and I are either doing Taipei Pride with a tour around Japan, or an international Pride Circuit starting in Toronto. Either way, I’m going to try and make the trip cost less than $2,000 for myself. This makes me extra frugal, and I save by renting places on AirBnB or staying with friends abroad.
In summary: I’m not rich and I work 10-hour-days doing internet stuff to go on vacations that I plan 12-months in advanced.
This is in response to my “Rules to Live By” post a few days ago.
I didn’t think I would have to explain it, but you people on tumblr take things way too seriously.
These rules are being taken out of context and you all are casting judgement without fully understanding our relationship. I know these rules might seem a little bit over the top or excessive, but our relationship is not typical: I’m part of a Dom/sub relationship.
Both parties joined of our own free will—myself included—knowing that it had rules and responsibilities that had to be followed. Our rules and responsibilities were created together. We discussed possible issues, analyzed what could go wrong, and took into consideration the needs of both parties.
While the rules I posted might seem too overzealous or rigid, in practice it is quite the contrary. I have never been a very outgoing person but Master has pushed me to seek out my friends and family more, to go out and have fun and have a good time with them.
Master has made it his duty to know my needs and wants in order to make me happy. He obsesses over it. He knows me better than I know myself, and often anticipates my desires before I can even articulate them.
I’ve had trouble finding a hobby or passion project to fill my free time (the boredom gets me in trouble), and Master has been silently encouraging me towards activities for the past couple months. I didn’t even realize his thoughtfulness; he signed us up for couple’s cooking classes and a DJ class. Both things I love that would make enriching passion projects.
I can’t think of a day when he puts his needs before mine, he is always looking for ways to make me happy. And I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life than I am now with Master (or Dylan, if you want to use his name).
It is very easy for people to pass judgement on the unknown. Unfortunately, that is how the Internet works and people are very quick to judge without taking into consideration more than skin deep.
I know we have decided to live our relationship in a very public and honest way. We knew it might gather criticisms from people and yet we decided to go on ahead and broadcast our lives like this. Yet, people don’t bother in gathering the whole piece of the story and put their give cents without thinking deeper and harder.
The rules of our relationship are a living document. We review them weekly (Master calls this our relationship audit) to ensure the Dom/sub dynamic is healthy and everyone is happy. We’ve removed things, added new rules, and evolved the social contracted between us as needed.
People unfamiliar with Dom/sub relationships might think that he is taking advantage of me, that I am weak and he is just trying to control me for gains, or that I’m stupid for giving up such control out of love. You couldn’t be more wrong. I have two Bachelors Degrees, a Masters Degree, and Postgrad from Universities around the world, I speak 4 languages and have visited every continent, and I’m a successful entrepreneur with a thriving business. I know exactly what I’m getting into.
I will continue to live my life how I want. It’s my decision to live for my Master. I know that I love him like I have never loved anyone before. I get butterflies every single time I see him. He brings a smile to my face by just being next to me. He makes me the happiest guy in the universe and I couldn’t be luckier than to have him and spend the rest if my days with him.
So please, let me live my life and you can continue to live yours. Live and let live.
Thank you for writing this, pup.
There’s been a lot of confusion and misinterpretation of pup’s rules post. Some folks called me a tool, others said our relationship isn’t healthy, and while nobody is perfect, they said these things without fully understanding the terms of our relationship.
Thank you, pup, for clearing this up. I’m still writing my post. I kinda got distracted talking about feminism. But it will be up soon.
arfabear
Thank you! Here are shots of my legs for the last three months; while smaller, they’re definitely more defined. I kinda like it :D
The absolute best pre-workout drink I’ve ever tried is Mesomorph by APS. The energy and pump you get from mesomorph is far more intense than any other pre-workout drink. Perhaps because it contains a stimulant similar to meth, and thats why Amazon.com no longer sells it.
If you can’t find Mesomorph, my next favourite stimulant/NO-boosting/pre-workout drink is Jack3D.
If you’re having trouble sleeping or can’t take stimulants (like me), try Hyper Shock by Myogenix. Same skin-tingly pumps and NO-boost without keeping me awake till 4am.
Regarding ethical dilemmas with sports supplements/steroids, I highly recommend watching the documentary Bigger Stronger Faster ($2 rental on Amazon, free on Netflix). The supplement industry in America is not regulated, so we often have fringe products like Mesomorph that contain meth-like substances, pre-anabolic supplements that the liver converts into weak steroids, or (more commonly) products that don’t work at all. There are only a handful of substances that actually have medically-researched results.
Creatine, Whey, some NO-boosters, BCAAs…when taken correctly, these legal supplements improve recovery time, muscle growth, and increase strength. Is it really unethical to use supplements that are available to everyone? Nope.
Steroids are very powerful drugs; they can reverse injuries, cut recovery for burn victims by 90%, aid with muscle growth, and increase white blood cell count for HIV+ folks. Completely unethical in professional sports, but I’d be lying if I wouldn’t want to watch an all-steroid olympics or World’s Strongest Man competition. My personal stance on steroids is that they can be very helpful when used responsibly.
I am not someone who would use steroids responsibly. I’ve spent much of my life romanticising steroids as a way to grow free from my skinny body. I don’t consider myself someone with an addictive personality, but knowing how my BDD works, if I started a cycle I would not stop. Moreover, because of my high blood pressure and cholesterol, I’m exactly the sort of person you would hear about in the news overdosing on steroids and dying of a heart attack.
The temptation is overwhelming, but the health risks for an at-risk person like me will always keep steroids a fantasy.
I’ve had a few folks ask me for an outline of my current training routine, from sleep, supplements, protein, to the workout. This routine is suitable for folks who want to lose fat without sacrificing muscle in their weight loss, or for people that want to simply maintain. This regimen has worked so well for cutting fat while maintaining muscle, that I’m going to try using it when I bulk by adding more calories and a complex carb like quinoa.
This is a pretty rough overview of my daily routine. (Sundays excluded, because thats cheat day). I have only been doing this routine for the last three weeks and can’t fully vet it yet, but initial results have been promising.
The Daily Routine
- 10:00pm - 08:00am: sleep (goal is 8-10hrs)
- 08:00am - 08:30am: breakfast superfood shake, AEG stack
- 11:00am - 11:30am: eat lunch, protein shake, AEG Stack, Animal Pack Daily Vitamin
- 01:00pm - 02:00pm: gym (read about my new workout here)
- 02:00pm - 02:10pm: post workout shake
- 04:30pm - 04:45pm: eat meal, protein shake, AEG Stack
- 08:00pm - 08:45pm: eat dinner, protein shake
- 09:45pm - 10:00pm: bedtime shake, AEG Stack
- 10:00pm - 08:00am: sleep (goal is 8-10hrs)
Diet Guide
My cutting diet is a traditional carb-restrictive diet:
- No simple carbs (breads, corn, fruit, rice, etc)
- No fruit (it’s important to emphasize this, but we can have not-sweet fruits like tomatoes and avocado)
- No milk, soda, or juice. Ever. No exceptions. (Fructose and HFCS cause the body to produce albumin, which binds to testosterone and makes it inert)
- No artificial sweeteners. They’re worse for you than the real thing. (Put down that diet snapple tea, pup)
I follow this carb-restrictive diet Monday through Saturday, where Sunday is cheat day. Cheat day is this glorious day where I am required to eat carbs and junk food till I feel sick. (Photos from previous cheat days here and here). It’s important to do cheat day to prevent your body from going into starvation mode, slowing down your metabolism and making your body cling to fat. Binging on carbs after restricting yourself from them triggers a cascade of hormones; your hypothalamus is happier, your thyroid is happy, you make more testosterone, and your metabolism stays high. (Note that you can’t just binge on carbs all the time, this metabolic response only happens after carb fasting).
I’m also trying to get more probiotic rich foods (like kombucha, kraut, kim chi, etc) into my diet because of the numerous benefits they provide for weight loss, muscle gain, and keeping you happy.
Supplement Legend
Breakfast Shake
The recipe for my superfood breakfast shake can be found here. I’ve started adding a cup of frozen spinach to my breakfast shake as spinach is high in lipoyllysine which has been found to increase GLUT4 transport of nutrients to surface muscle tissue. (This means more of the food you eat becomes muscle instead of being stored as fat).
Normal Protein Shakes
My protein shake is a combination of 70g Optimum Whey Protein, 10g L-Glutamine, 15g Creatine Monohydrate, and 10g BCAA.
Bedtime Shake
Sleep is a fasting period of 8-10 hours, so it’s important to eat a protein that is not so quickly digested. Pup introduced me to Casein Whey and I now use that for my bedtime shakes. It’s disgusting tasting.
Daily Vitamin
I take the Animal Pack Daily Vitamin with a meal each morning. The can says you should take two, but that seems unnecessary.
AEG Stack
Based on Timothy Ferris’ alternative to the Ephedra Stack (PAGG), the AEG Stack is an interesting combination of three supplements:
- 500mg Alpha Lipoic Acid: ALA is pretty amazing, it’s a powerful antioxidant, free-radical hunter, it recycles vitamin C and E, and removes toxic metals from the body (mostly iron and mercury). But for our purposes, the most interesting thing ALA does is it acts as a nutrient partitioning agent, directing glucose preferentially to muscle tissue and away from fat tissue in people who exercise. (Source). In short, ALA diverts nutrients to your muscle tissue while starving your fat cells.
- 400mg EGCg: is the active ingredient in Green Tea that increases your resting metabolism 4-6%. It also decreases GLUT4 transport of nutrients to fat cells and causes fat apoptosis. Fat cells commit suicide when you take EGCg. Reducing the overall number of fat cells (instead of just decreasing their size) will prevent you from rebounding when you go off diet.
- 600mg Garlicin: This 2003 study took two groups on a high carb diet, one was given a high allicin supplement. After 3 weeks, those taking the allicin supplement did not gain weight, compared to those without the supplement that did gain weight. I couldn’t find the method of action for allicin and preventing fat gain, but Timothy Ferris says it worked for him, so I’m taking it too.
Anonymous
“Just be yourself?” Don’t you mean, “do what you love and you will attractive meaningful relationships based on common interest?”
I do have some advice, but I wouldn’t call myself a relationship expert. Most of my relationships have failed. Explosively.
Instead, I’m an expert at what not to do in a relationship. With that in mind, here is some general advice for relationshipping:
- Complete the first two stages of Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs. This means you shouldn’t try and pursue a relationship until you’ve achieved your Physiological Needs (eg, food, water, shelter; basic requirements of the human body, without which you will die) annnnnnd Safety/Security Needs (eg, job security, health and wellbeing, financial security, etc). You need the foundation of human needs before you can chase after more ambitious goals, like love or self-actualization.
- Wear bright colours.
- Do different things with your partner often. Psychology Today dissected successful and failed relationships of hundreds of couples to find what worked and what didn’t. So what do successful relationships do that dying ones don’t? They do new/different things together, often. So, instead of a regular “movie date night” a successful couple would go hiking one week, then a deep-sea fishing/cooking class the next, roadtrip the following week, couples’ basejumping, etc…the key is doing *different* things together.
- Be honest.
- Communicate. Most problems in relationships can be resolved by talking about them. It’s when you don’t talk about things that it becomes difficult. Your partner can’t read your mind, so if something is bugging you, talk to them about it. But talking is difficult. I hold a weekly (surprise) audit of our relationship with pup to discuss possible issues and proactively resolve things before they become problematic.
- And, finally, Be Forgiving. You are human. Prone to mistakes. Your partner will probably mess up sometimes. You need to forgive them, not dwell on it, and move on.
How do I get a butt like yours?
I get this question all the time. Usually I just point people to my leg workout, but it seems like it’s time to get into the details of proper rumping.
Nature VS Nurture
Let’s be honest, some people have the right genetics for a big butt. Like my friend Phil, my pup, or every black dude. I’m part Filipino; we are a people known for our horrible food and tremendous lower body strength (necessary to scale coconut trees laden with feral cats, for dinner).
Genetics asside, I think that the physical activities you do in your teens sets the tone for your body as an adult. I rode my bike EVERYWHERE growing up. Mom wouldn’t even give me a ride to my 6AM AP Physics class in the next town because our school didn’t offer it. I didn’t play any sports, I didn’t try in PE, but I did ride my bike everywhere. Now, as an adult, when I ride my bike, my thighs explode with size and I can’t wear pants.
I sincerely believe that the sports and activity level you have as a kid determines your body and metabolism as an adult. Thats not to say you can’t change your body-fate, but it’s much easier when you’ve started with a good baseline.
If you’re in your teens and reading this, do sports that relate to the body you want when you’re older. I wish someone would’ve told me that so I didn’t develop the body of a video gaming anime nerd and spend my adult life hating my body.
Okay, but what can I do about my butt now?
So you weren’t a speed skater growing up or weren’t born with a bubble butt. There is hope. Genetics be damned.
If you don’t already have a leg workout, you can use mine (here is another leg workout). The key movements for building your butt are (in order of you should do this now):
- Squats
- Good Girls / Bad Girls
- Deadlifts
I’m not going to explain how to do Squats or Deadlifts. They are basic movements that everyone should know and there are thousands of YouTube videos on how to do them. If you have a bad lower back, try sumo squats or box squats.
When doing Deadlifts or Squats I try and focus on lifting with my butt. It might take a while to get used to lifting with that muscle group, so try starting with a low weight and try doing the movement with mostly your butt. I am not a personal trainer. This is probably bogus.
Not bogus, however, are Good Girls / Bad Girls. Or, the abductor/adductor machine. This is how you get the ass shelf. I find that rhythm is very important with this machine. I can max the weight out easily, but doing reps in a 3-seconds-out/1-second-in tempo really makes it more effective.
Anonymous
Below is a photo of me without any tricks.
No flexing, not pumped, no special poses to make me look bigger, no special angles, no small props to make me appear larger, no tricks of light, no aspherical lens to make my arms bigger.
Just me without any enhancements:
- iPhone 4
- α f/2.8
- ε 1/15th
- ƒ 3mm
I hit 255lbs this week!
This photo, taken by my trainer James, was on our final session. I had bought a bunch of sessions with him when I had money, but, sadly, can’t afford to continue for a while.
While I’ve made tremendous progress on my own for years, I had certainly plateaued and was not pushing myself as hard as I needed in order to grow. I attribute a lot of my gains (particularly getting to 19-inch arms) to James’ guidance in the gym.
If you’re in San Francisco and want an awesome trainer, James is finally taking new clients again.
A dirtier version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” our newest, gayest Christmas Figurehead. Hope you enjoy it!
Twas the Ball Before Christmas:
‘Twas the Ball before Christmas, when all through the Haus
Not a creature was sober, not even a mouse;
The bottoms were hung and their asses were bare,
In hopes that a top would plant his dick there.
The DJ was brilliant and never a bore
While tons of hot guys tore up the club’s floor.
And Pappa in his jockstrap, and I in my thong,
Had decided to dance through all the night’s songs
When out on the street there arose such a noise
I stopped mid-grind to walk through the boys.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Passing by dancers reaching out for some cash.
A big mirrored ball, polished to a bright shine
Threw light on the gays all waiting in line.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a tall, muscled god dressed up like a deer,
Wearing some chaps so his ass could be seen,
I knew it must be the Grumpy Stag Queen.
More rapid than eagles, his Judies they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
Let’s Walk in this club and show all these bitches:
They come for our House, they’ll leave here in stitches.”
First, Dasher came in from the cold, winter night
His clothes caked in crystals; a designer’s delight.
Then, on long, dark legs, Dancer stalked down the floor,
Vogueing and twisting to the crowd’s mighty roar.
Next, Prancer and Vixen, both devils at walking,
Tumbled and flipped wearing only their stockings.
Comet followed them in her cunty-time drag
Before Cupid threw shade at the room full of fags.
Donner and Blitzen muscled onto the scene
Clearing way for her Eminence, their Father, the Queen.
He was strong and well hung, a right sexy sight,
I boned up when I saw him, though his d*ck was a fright.
He spoke not a word but went straight to pleasure,
Filling all of the bottoms and the tops for good measure.
And, throwing me down on pile of hot bodies,
He ripped through my ass and said I was naughty.
When he was done laying waste to the club,
He left us there, all slick with his love.
But, I heard him exclaim, ere he strut out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”
Speechless. This is incredible. I just…wow.
(Source: noodlesandbeef)
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