I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about my body dysmorphia but more often I post photos of my butt. I am in a D/s relationship with two wonderful pups. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

Popular Posts


Recent Posts Posts tagged design

When people ask what I do for work, I say “User Experience Design.”
The job title is deceptively simple sounding.  It’s really just an umbrella title for a range of disciplines that work together to create a successful experience for users.

When people ask what I do for work, I say “User Experience Design.”

The job title is deceptively simple sounding.  It’s really just an umbrella title for a range of disciplines that work together to create a successful experience for users.

Reblogged from uxrave
Lets try this again…
Have you guys seen that "Popular Noodles" pod at the top of my blog?  It’s a widget that shows my most popular tumblr posts over the past 30 days.  It’s great for new readers who aren’t sure where to start, and it makes finding good content MUCH easier.
This is not a feature provided by tumblr, so I made a tool that generates popular posts for tumblr.
Currently it only supports photo posts, but I will be adding support for text, audio, etc soon.  (It does not show reblogs).
Bug Fix Update: there was a small bug with the generation of embed code, so widgets weren’t loading.  You will have to re-generate your embed code. Sorry!

Lets try this again…

Have you guys seen that "Popular Noodles" pod at the top of my blog?  It’s a widget that shows my most popular tumblr posts over the past 30 days.  It’s great for new readers who aren’t sure where to start, and it makes finding good content MUCH easier.

This is not a feature provided by tumblr, so I made a tool that generates popular posts for tumblr.

Currently it only supports photo posts, but I will be adding support for text, audio, etc soon.  (It does not show reblogs).

Bug Fix Update: there was a small bug with the generation of embed code, so widgets weren’t loading.  You will have to re-generate your embed code. Sorry!

Remember when I threw-down some ghetto graphs with anonymous?
It’s a little rough, but I’ve released the tool that lets you create these charts for your tumblr blog.  Additionally, this tool analyzes the type of posts you make to tell you your “Blogging Style.”  (For example, I’m a Visual-Creator because I mostly post original photos).
Enjoy: The Simple Tumblr Stats Tool
Edit: I’ve updated the tool slightly to include details on who leaves you notes. Read about it here.

Remember when I threw-down some ghetto graphs with anonymous?

It’s a little rough, but I’ve released the tool that lets you create these charts for your tumblr blog.  Additionally, this tool analyzes the type of posts you make to tell you your “Blogging Style.”  (For example, I’m a Visual-Creator because I mostly post original photos).

Enjoy: The Simple Tumblr Stats Tool

Edit: I’ve updated the tool slightly to include details on who leaves you notes. Read about it here.

Presenting the Results Infographic for the Gay Cliques Census.
This is a collection of the previous charts I’ve done, in a more readable and interactive style.  Since the survey is ongoing, this infographic is updated live.  All the data represented is accurate to the last recorded response.
I’ve also created a (very simple) tool to help folks find out what they are based on averages for each Clique.  It works by finding which clique’s average you’re closest to based on the five physical attributes…so, it can be wrong sometimes.  We can make the tool better by getting more people taking the survey.
Enjoy!
Update: The identification tool had a bug and was pushing out very wrong answers. This has been resolved and should be showing much more accurate results now. Sorry about that!  Read about it here.

Presenting the Results Infographic for the Gay Cliques Census.

This is a collection of the previous charts I’ve done, in a more readable and interactive style.  Since the survey is ongoing, this infographic is updated live.  All the data represented is accurate to the last recorded response.

I’ve also created a (very simple) tool to help folks find out what they are based on averages for each Clique.  It works by finding which clique’s average you’re closest to based on the five physical attributes…so, it can be wrong sometimes.  We can make the tool better by getting more people taking the survey.

Enjoy!

Update: The identification tool had a bug and was pushing out very wrong answers. This has been resolved and should be showing much more accurate results now. Sorry about that!  Read about it here.

It’s time for Otters vs Pups.  Part of my data-visualizing series from the Gay Cliques Census. (See previously: Bears vs Cubs, Twinks vs Chubs).
I didn’t even put Pups on my original Cliques Chart, only graphing the sub-group “Muscle Pups.”  I guess I subconsciously realized what can now be proven with data: there’s not much physical difference between Otters and Pups.
Pups are about 20lbs heavier than Otters
Otters are less fat than Pups, averaging 1-2” smaller waist sizes
Otters are slightly hairier than Pups
Between 25-35, Pups start calling themselves Otters
Because there is so little distinction physically, I assume there’s a lot going on with personality that distinguishes Pups from Otters.  This is (unfortunately) something I did not put into my survey.

It’s time for Otters vs Pups.  Part of my data-visualizing series from the Gay Cliques Census. (See previously: Bears vs Cubs, Twinks vs Chubs).

I didn’t even put Pups on my original Cliques Chart, only graphing the sub-group “Muscle Pups.”  I guess I subconsciously realized what can now be proven with data: there’s not much physical difference between Otters and Pups.

  • Pups are about 20lbs heavier than Otters
  • Otters are less fat than Pups, averaging 1-2” smaller waist sizes
  • Otters are slightly hairier than Pups
  • Between 25-35, Pups start calling themselves Otters

Because there is so little distinction physically, I assume there’s a lot going on with personality that distinguishes Pups from Otters.  This is (unfortunately) something I did not put into my survey.

I now have enough data to contrast Twinks (purple) and Chubs (pink).  This is part of my ongoing Gay Cliques Census.  (Previously graphed: Bears vs Cubs).
Just like last time, the solid line is “average” while the solid area is one deviation above/below the median; if you fall inside this area you’re probably one of these cliques.
Interesting information represented in this graph:
Twinks and Chubs have the most drastic difference in physical appearance of any clique in my dataset.
People that consider themselves twinks are absolutely tiny!  The average waist size is barely 30” and the max weight is ~180lbs.
Folks that identify as chubs are quite large.  Chubs have the highest body weight and largest waist size of any clique.
Both twinks and chubs aren’t very hairy.
See that white gap around Waist/Weight? Because Twinks doesn’t fully overlap Chubs it’s impossible to ever be a Chubby Twink or a Twinkish Chub.  (Unlike Bears/Cubs where there is a definite limbo grey area).
Next up: Pups and Otters
Please spread my survey to as many people as you can.   Thanks!

I now have enough data to contrast Twinks (purple) and Chubs (pink).  This is part of my ongoing Gay Cliques Census.  (Previously graphed: Bears vs Cubs).

Just like last time, the solid line is “average” while the solid area is one deviation above/below the median; if you fall inside this area you’re probably one of these cliques.

Interesting information represented in this graph:

  • Twinks and Chubs have the most drastic difference in physical appearance of any clique in my dataset.
  • People that consider themselves twinks are absolutely tiny!  The average waist size is barely 30” and the max weight is ~180lbs.
  • Folks that identify as chubs are quite large.  Chubs have the highest body weight and largest waist size of any clique.
  • Both twinks and chubs aren’t very hairy.
  • See that white gap around Waist/Weight? Because Twinks doesn’t fully overlap Chubs it’s impossible to ever be a Chubby Twink or a Twinkish Chub.  (Unlike Bears/Cubs where there is a definite limbo grey area).

Next up: Pups and Otters

Please spread my survey to as many people as you can.   Thanks!

While I don’t have enough data to be statistically relevant (yet…) I can still see some very interesting trends from my Gay Cliques Census.
Here’s a preliminary radar chart overlaying Bears (red) with Cubs (blue).  The solid line is “average” for the sample, while the bounds are one standard deviation above and below average.  
If you fall inside one of these colours, you’re very likely a cub or a bear.
This graph tells us some interesting (if not obvious) things:
Cubs are basically just mini bears.  The average weight of a Bear is the upper-limit for cubs.  The Cubs’ radar chart almost fits inside the average bounds of the Bears’ chart!
27 is the cut-off age for cubs.  Yes, there are cubs older than this, but they drop off very quickly into bear territory.
You don’t have to be very hairy to be a cub.
I need more data.  What happens to bears that are older than 45?  At what point do Cubs become Otters?
Please spread my survey to as many people as you can.  The more data, the more I can answer!

While I don’t have enough data to be statistically relevant (yet…) I can still see some very interesting trends from my Gay Cliques Census.

Here’s a preliminary radar chart overlaying Bears (red) with Cubs (blue).  The solid line is “average” for the sample, while the bounds are one standard deviation above and below average.  

If you fall inside one of these colours, you’re very likely a cub or a bear.

This graph tells us some interesting (if not obvious) things:

  1. Cubs are basically just mini bears.  The average weight of a Bear is the upper-limit for cubs.  The Cubs’ radar chart almost fits inside the average bounds of the Bears’ chart!
  2. 27 is the cut-off age for cubs.  Yes, there are cubs older than this, but they drop off very quickly into bear territory.
  3. You don’t have to be very hairy to be a cub.

I need more data.  What happens to bears that are older than 45?  At what point do Cubs become Otters?

Please spread my survey to as many people as you can.  The more data, the more I can answer!

Please reblog.
Last year I made the Gay Cliques Radar Chart, a simple graph that could help disambiguate what clique you were in based on age, hairyness, fat and muscle.  There were two problems with my chart:
I was missing some gay cliques (eg, bull, daddies, etc)
My definitions of these cliques are my own and might not be accurate (eg, Muscle Pup could be “Jock”, and maybe have some fat)
To resolve this I need your help.  I’m conducting a survey to define these cliques from popular opinion.  I’ll publish the results to this blog and email anyone who provides their address.  
Click here to take the survey, and please tell your friends. The more people who take this the better the data.

Please reblog.

Last year I made the Gay Cliques Radar Chart, a simple graph that could help disambiguate what clique you were in based on age, hairyness, fat and muscle.  There were two problems with my chart:

  1. I was missing some gay cliques (eg, bull, daddies, etc)
  2. My definitions of these cliques are my own and might not be accurate (eg, Muscle Pup could be “Jock”, and maybe have some fat)

To resolve this I need your help.  I’m conducting a survey to define these cliques from popular opinion.  I’ll publish the results to this blog and email anyone who provides their address.  

Click here to take the survey, and please tell your friends. The more people who take this the better the data.

This is a graph showing the age/sex of folks that visit my blog.
80% of my readers are older than me. Whoa!
~99% of my readers are men.
Dear 1% of my readers that are female: Who are you?

This is a graph showing the age/sex of folks that visit my blog.

  • 80% of my readers are older than me. Whoa!
  • ~99% of my readers are men.

Dear 1% of my readers that are female: Who are you?

The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavor in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind.

Einstein (I think)

I was a little lazy when I made the “quote” style for posts, so if you’re interested in something a little more dramatic, go ahead and add the following to your Custom Css:

body.index .post.typequote { outline: 0 !important; background: transparent !important; } .post.typequote blockquote { border: 0; margin: 0; padding: 10px 1.5em; font-size: 1.5em !important; opacity: 1; position: relative; } .post.typequote .source { opacity: .75; margin: 0 28px; } .post.typequote .source:before { content: '\2014\ '; } .post.typequote .meta { margin-left: 28px; margin-right: 28px; } .post.typequote blockquote:before, .post.typequote blockquote:after { display: block; font-size: 700%; width: 50px; height: 50px; opacity: .25; position: absolute; } .post.typequote blockquote:before { content: '\201C'; top: -.33em; left: 0; }

This is a very interesting graph.  The selected portion is from when I posted that Chicken Adobo photo, which quadrupled my pageviews.  What’s interesting is that more than half of returning visitors (folks who have read my blog in the last month) left my site after a few seconds (a bounce).  Yet their average time on my blog is three-times what a new visitor spent on my blog.
I think there must be a few returning users that spent, like, 400 hours on my blog and those outliers are skewing the results…  
Anyway, here’s some selected analytics tidbits:
The top 8 search terms are combinations of Noodles, Beef, And, Tumblr.  The people making these searches are overwhelmingly returning users. Which makes me think nobody bothers to bookmark this blog.
A lot of people are searching for noodles and beef nude, naked, or cock shot (really?).
On average, people look at 4-5 pages on my blog.
On average, people scroll through 10-11 pages using the scrolling-forever feature.  This is double what my old theme averaged.
Most people leave my blog after they look at photos of me.  Am I that repulsive?
My next analytics post will talk about what types of posts are most popular (ass pics) and what folks don’t bother reading (questions).

This is a very interesting graph.  The selected portion is from when I posted that Chicken Adobo photo, which quadrupled my pageviews.  What’s interesting is that more than half of returning visitors (folks who have read my blog in the last month) left my site after a few seconds (a bounce).  Yet their average time on my blog is three-times what a new visitor spent on my blog.

I think there must be a few returning users that spent, like, 400 hours on my blog and those outliers are skewing the results…  

Anyway, here’s some selected analytics tidbits:

  • The top 8 search terms are combinations of Noodles, Beef, And, Tumblr.  The people making these searches are overwhelmingly returning users. Which makes me think nobody bothers to bookmark this blog.
  • A lot of people are searching for noodles and beef nude, naked, or cock shot (really?).
  • On average, people look at 4-5 pages on my blog.
  • On average, people scroll through 10-11 pages using the scrolling-forever feature.  This is double what my old theme averaged.
  • Most people leave my blog after they look at photos of me.  Am I that repulsive?

My next analytics post will talk about what types of posts are most popular (ass pics) and what folks don’t bother reading (questions).

    Barcelonia update!
Until tumblr gets their act together, you can manually update your Barcelonia theme in just a few simple steps:
Go here, select everything (Ctrl + A) and copy (Ctrl + C)
Go to your Customizations area
Click “Theme” > “Use Custom HTML”
Select everything in that box (Ctrl + A) then paste over (Ctrl + V)
Click “Update Preview”
If everything looks alright, you’re done!  Click SAVE!
Tumblr has a weird bug where it loses your customizations (colours, strings, etc) so you should copy this somewhere safe just in case.  If everything looks weird, try clicking “Reset Defaults” and start over.
Whats new in this version?
Columns are now appended by height, so you get a more natural layout and reading flow.
The back button is fixed.  If you click a post that was dynamically loaded using scrolling forever, then press back, you’re taken right back to where you clicked instead of the bottom of the first page.
You now get Facebook “Like” buttons on individual posts.  This is optional, since not everyone is a social freak like me.
I’ve also added OpenGraph metadata tags. This means if people share your content on Facebook (or instapaper, etc) your content gets correctly parsed and is returned in a pretty way.  Try sharing or liking one of my blog posts for an example.
Modern browsers get nice, smooth hover animations on posts.
Webkit browsers, IE9 and future firefox builds get fancy text rendering.
Selecting text now follows your custom colour pallet.  (It’s the little things like this).
As always, I hope you enjoy my theme.  Please let me know if you have any trouble with it or whatever.  And let’s all bug tumblr to finish reviewing this thing already.  It’s been in their “Moderation” queue for days!

    Barcelonia update!

    Until tumblr gets their act together, you can manually update your Barcelonia theme in just a few simple steps:

    1. Go here, select everything (Ctrl + A) and copy (Ctrl + C)
    2. Go to your Customizations area
    3. Click “Theme” > “Use Custom HTML”
    4. Select everything in that box (Ctrl + A) then paste over (Ctrl + V)
    5. Click “Update Preview”
    6. If everything looks alright, you’re done!  Click SAVE!

    Tumblr has a weird bug where it loses your customizations (colours, strings, etc) so you should copy this somewhere safe just in case.  If everything looks weird, try clicking “Reset Defaults” and start over.

    Whats new in this version?

    • Columns are now appended by height, so you get a more natural layout and reading flow.
    • The back button is fixed.  If you click a post that was dynamically loaded using scrolling forever, then press back, you’re taken right back to where you clicked instead of the bottom of the first page.
    • You now get Facebook “Like” buttons on individual posts.  This is optional, since not everyone is a social freak like me.
    • I’ve also added OpenGraph metadata tags. This means if people share your content on Facebook (or instapaper, etc) your content gets correctly parsed and is returned in a pretty way.  Try sharing or liking one of my blog posts for an example.
    • Modern browsers get nice, smooth hover animations on posts.
    • Webkit browsers, IE9 and future firefox builds get fancy text rendering.
    • Selecting text now follows your custom colour pallet.  (It’s the little things like this).

    As always, I hope you enjoy my theme.  Please let me know if you have any trouble with it or whatever.  And let’s all bug tumblr to finish reviewing this thing already.  It’s been in their “Moderation” queue for days!


    Hold on there, this is important.

    Hi, I'm Noodles and Beef and welcome to my blog. How are you? Your hair looks great today. What's your secret? I think its important we get to know each other a little bit before you continue.

    I've been updating this blog for over 13-years to help me remember and better appreciate my life experiences. I blog for my own benefit, so the content can be extremely personal and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable.

    We just met, so I'm not sure what makes you uncomfortable.

    You need to be at least 18-years-old to continue.


    I agree