Noodles and Beef

Anonymous asks:
are you a good person? I ask because I briefly met you in person some time ago and you seemed like a decent guy. But the more I've seen of you, viewed through the lens of the content you post on your blog has led me to wonder who you really are. Much of your content comes as vain and self serving. I mean no offense by this but I don't feel like anyone can get a sense of who you really are behind the gratuitous rump pics. Who are you? What do you believe in?
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Last year I gogo danced for charity in Taipei and auctioned off some of my leftover charity calendars, raising $170,000NT for a local AIDS support organization.  Turns out that gratuitous butt photos can be a force for good.

What a silly question

You’re asking if I’m a good person because you’ve seen lots of photos of my butt, and apparently these are mutually exclusive?  Do “good” people not post butt photos?  Completely absurd puritanical nonsense.

Do you even read my blog?  Lets look at my last ten original posts:

  1. Planning thanksgiving for my dad, mom, sister, and my pups
  2. Celebrating alpha’s bulking progress
  3. Cooking class with big pup
  4. Fondue for cheat day with my pups
  5. Hotel Butts photo with innerbear OH MY GOODNESS A PHOTO OF MY BUTT
  6. Video of innerbear twerking
  7. Fantastic dinner with two readers, John and Jacob
  8. Gorgeous photo of tank’s furry thighs in the morning light
  9. Today’s outfit for work
  10. Rocky Horror picture show with my pups

Alright, one butt photo.

You accuse me of being vain and self-serving…but if you actually read my blog, you’ll see I mostly write about food and other people.  A great way to learn about who I am would be to actually read my blog instead of obsessing over butt photos and their relation to being good or bad.

Recommended reading: Perception VS Reality, or why you might feel like I’m all about butt photos, but I’m actually all about food and people I love.

Anonymous asks:
Does it make you up set that your whole life is about sex? Does it not get boring

A recent photo of me depicting how my life is all about sex. Look at all that sex, my life is all about it, apparently. So much sex guys.

Recommended reading: Perception VS Reality, or why you might think my life is all about sex when it’s actually all about food.

Now, that being said, getting serviced by three very muscular men on a daily basis does not upset me and isn’t boring at all.

Nevertheless, saying my “whole life is about sex” sounds very hyperbolic.  Have you even seen my life?  I’ve spent this month writing about my honeymoon, posting photos from my sightseeing, the wonderful food I’ve been eating, or the outfit I’m wearing that day.

Anonymous asks:
Your internet presence makes you seem deeply narcissistic. Does your life revolve around sex and working out? Are your followers pathetic enough to find your tongue protruding in every other photo cute/amusing? I bet you're not nearly this insufferable in real life. No one could be...
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An anonymous coward has appeared!

Its clear you’re being a troll, so I’ve gone ahead and blocked you.  Normally that would be it…but, the ignorance in your message is so overwhelming that I feel compelled to write about a concept you’ve probably never heard of before: perception vs reality.  

By the tone and cowardice of your message, your ignorance seems heavily influenced by arrogance…so I doubt you’ll understand anything I’m about to write.  Knowing this, my post isn’t really intended for you, but for my readers who enjoy when I completely destroy ignorant cowards like you.

Are you ready?


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Perception VS Reality

Its obvious you don’t care for the content of my blog, so its safe to say that you don’t follow me…but, because tumblr is a blogging platform that emphasizes amplification over creation of content (see my post about creators vs curators here) you are unable to escape some of my content because it gets reblogged by a lot of people.

Unfortunately, my content that tends to get reblogged is erotic.  If the only stuff you see from me is what your friends reblog, then you might believe I live in a porno where I’m constantly serviced by three hot men taking occasional breaks to workout.

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I parsed my most recent 200 blog posts and graphed two pie charts: what I post compared to what gets reblogged.

Posts about me only account for ~13% of my blog.  I mostly write about friends and the people I love.  If I were a narcissist, my blog would be mostly about me…and that is simply not the case.

Ignoring these facts is arrogantly conceited, which happens to be the definition of insufferable.  So, to answer your question: yes, there are such insufferable people out there.  You are one of them.

fuzzbutt07:

pizzaotter:

dashingyounghero:

brattiest-bb:

53reynolds:

foreskinstein:

mamamartyr:

panic-at-the-daiso:

I am….. disgusted.

^^^^^^^ wtf….

jesus

LMFAO THIS FUCKING GUYYYY

Yeah this guy is garbage.

jesus fucking christ wtf

Why do people give their community such a bad name? I mean like really.

Why you gotta be such a fucking oddball? There’s literally no necessity for this shit.

Keep that borderline rape programming behind closed doors you sick fuck.

Ok but this was based on a prompt he was given and question he was asked… It came on the heels of him finishing up a week on erotic hypnosis for his 52 weeks of Kink project, in which in an effort to better himself he spends each week focusing on a new kink and learning more about it… So please, tell me how a satirical (think “A Modest Proposal”) answer to an ask is disgusting and awful? Tell me how someone trying to educate themselves and better themselves for the sake of themselves and their family is sick? noodlesandbeef gets a lot of hate and I don’t understand most of it. Have you guys ever talked to him? Had an actual conversation? I have, and let me tell you, he’s a down to earth, caring and intelligent person. He’s not perfect. None of us are. But he doesn’t deserve the shit half the people on this site give him.

This is immensely entertaining.

I wrote a gag post about hypnosis, using a little known mental reflex, and now these people believe I have magic hypnosis powers.

This is hilarious.

“Stage 10 sleeper pup!” Ooooh noooo, I hypnotized you with posts about food and my vacation photos!

Anonymous asks:
I think the other anons meant he's shallow, he collects pups like a fad and general regards all of them except his husband as such. If you aren't his type you get entirely ignored or disregarded, either in person or out of unless you're a friend of a friend. Play observer for a bit, he won't do it to you because he already has an interest it seems but you'll see it done with others. Most people here know this bit, the difference is he knows how to manufacture his image enough to hide most of it.

Hidden in anon’s message of dubious accusations is something very interesting:

imthehuggernaut:

Here’s my take. Sir has a lot of followers on here. I have just a fraction of that many, and it’s hard for me to keep up with the messages I get. I can’t imagine what His inbox must look like on a daily basis. I think it’s ok for people to have a type, I don’t know why you regard that as any different in this case. I can’t speak for Him, but that’s my input. Just know that I’m a capable human being. I’m enjoying the new friendship I’ve found, and I won’t apologize for that.

“Play observer for a bit.”

Meaning, you should form your own opinion on someone by observing and making a decision on your own terms.  This stands in stark contrast to the rest of anon’s message, where they try to convince you that I’m a shallow person because “most people here know this.”

This is a very suspicious message. Who are these people? Why should you follow them? When do you get to make your own thoughts and decisions?

It doesn’t take much to debunk anon’s accusations.  Shallow?  Collects pups like a fad?  Ignored if you’re not his type?  Oh please, lets see the evidence, because my blog is 15+ years of genuine, boring journal entries that show otherwise.

I’m excited for this new friendship with imthehuggernaut.  He’s a cool guy who doesn’t let the dogma of an anonymous coward dictate how he lives his life, who he follows, or what he likes…and if someone is so easily manipulated, I have a feeling we might not get along so well.

Anonymous asks:
I've been reading your blog for a year or so now and over time I've noticed that you have very few female influences in your life/on your blog. Is this a conscious decision or have you never really connected with females in the same way you connect with your male friends?

One of my best friends is a biological female, but she had requested I not post photos of her.

So. That might be why there aren’t many references to her on my blog.

Edit: anon asks for clarification that I don’t have any “female influences”…which is different than female friends.  Anon needs to be more specific with his pointed questions.

You read through some of my blog and didn’t see me writing about work by women that later influenced me as an adult.  You also didn’t see me writing about work by men.  Or anyone.  Just my stuff, sometimes posts about friends, mostly pics of my butt.

  • I have written nothing about Frida Kahlo, but her relentless personal exploration through self-portraits has inspired a lot of my own photos.  And a halloween costume.
  • I have written nothing about Marina Abramović, but it wasn’t until I was introduced to her work that I fell in love with performance art and started my own life-long performance art piece where I misspell quiet as quite.
  • I have written nothing about Sally Ride, but I don’t admire her for being the first American woman in space (still super awesome), I admire her for being the first LGBT person in space.

Just because I don’t write about my inspirations does not mean I don’t have them.  Get your head out of your ass.

Anonymous asks:
Dude, you put your own picture in my he Wikipedia article on muscle dysmorphia? Could you possibly be more self-obsessed?

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This is what the guy is talking about: one of my photos is being used on a wikipedia article.

If you click through to the photo, you’ll see its hosted on wikicommons, along with thousands of other photos I’ve contributed.  ~95% of my photos are CC licensed, meaning they can be used by anyone as long as they proper attribute me as the creator.  You can browse my CC licensed photos on wikicommons or Flickr.

You should know that my photos are freely used all over the internet.  From news websites to gay dance parties.

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According to Google, my flu shot photo is being used in over 500+ websites.

I’m producing free, quality content that anyone can use.  Instead of charging $20+ for similar stock photos, I’m giving my content away for free.  We call that altruism, which is the opposite of self-obsessed.

Dude.

Anonymous asks:
You definitely give off that "no blacks not being racist it's just a preference" vibe. But I'm guessing you have a interactive flow chart explaining why I'm wrong or why it really is just a preference.

I rebuffed your advances because you were being disrespectful of my relationship by continuing to send me graphic/sexual photos of yourself after I told you to stop.

I’m a POC who has written about racism in the gay community and am getting married to another POC.  This has nothing to do with your race, you’re just an asshole.

Anonymous asks:
You're hanging around some disgusting company. To each his own. You don't need to be around desperation to be the man you want to be. Yes I'm hating. Mainly because you look and seem perfect just the way you are. Have fun in PTown kiddo!

pup-rusty:

Im sorry you think that but do you actually know the company that I’m keeping? Because I’m sure you don’t. On the other hand I’ve know Dylan for over ten years long before he ever was “@Noodlesandbeef” so you can take your options and shove em.
Dylan is one of the most caring and compassionate people I know. He does whatever he can for his friends. While he may get a bad rap because of the blog and what people think they know about him. The people who actually know him, know the kind of person he is.
And all of the changes I’ve made over the last year have been for me and only me. That’s the reason I’ve been able to stay on track.

So you have an irrational hate of Noodles and Beef.  Good for you.  Instead of being a hateful person, use that energy in a productive way.

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Introducing the “I HATE NOODLES AND BEEF” t-shirt.  For less than the cost of a planter’s punch, you can proudly show the world you’re a hateful bitch and do good at the same time.

100% of gross proceeds from sales of this shirt will be donated to the AIDS Emergency Fund.

So if you’re not a completely horrible person, put that hate to good use.  

Buy now!

Anonymous asks:
You're hanging around some disgusting company. To each his own. You don't need to be around desperation to be the man you want to be. Yes I'm hating. Mainly because you look and seem perfect just the way you are. Have fun in PTown kiddo!

ginger-beef:

Im sorry you think that but do you actually know the company that I’m keeping? Because I’m sure you don’t. On the other hand I’ve know Dylan for over ten years long before he ever was “@Noodlesandbeef” so you can take your options and shove em.
Dylan is one of the most caring and compassionate people I know. He does whatever he can for his friends. While he may get a bad rap because of the blog and what people think they know about him. The people who actually know him, know the kind of person he is.
And all of the changes I’ve made over the last year have been for me and only me. That’s the reason I’ve been able to stay on track.

So you have an irrational hate of Noodles and Beef.  Good for you.  Instead of being a hateful person, use that energy in a productive way.

image

Introducing the “I HATE NOODLES AND BEEF” t-shirt.  For less than the cost of a planter’s punch, you can proudly show the world you’re a hateful bitch and do good at the same time.

100% of gross proceeds from sales of this shirt will be donated to the AIDS Emergency Fund.

So if you’re not a completely horrible person, put that hate to good use.  

Buy now!

green-buns asks:
Can you justify using a facial product with ingredients from a one endangered now extinct animal? Call me rude but it seems rather self absorbed and shitty to not use an alternative or go without.

Ah, you’re referring to that joke I wrote about what face lotion I use:

The animal my lotion is made from went extinct, so I bought enough bottles to last me till I’m 30. When I run out, I’ll probably use something unscented. (Unless they cure puffy eyes in the future, then I won’t need lotion).

Original post here.

The joke is a riff on the ribwich episode of Simpsons:

The last stop of the Ribwich’s tour was in San Francisco, where Krusty the Clown appeared in person and announced that the Ribwich would not be made anymore, as the unnamed animal whose meat was used for the burger had become extinct.

Its a joke.  I made a joke about my amazing face lotion being discontinued.  And it isn’t the first time I’ve joked about it being discontinued.  I’ve also joked it was pulled for being too powerful, addicting, and ironically causes the skin cancer it was designed to prevent.  My facial lotion is L'Oreal Men Expert Hydra engergetic Moisturiser.

Sadly, L'Oreal has reintroduced the lotion with a new package design. So I can’t joke about it anymore.

green-buns asks:
Can you justify using a facial product with ingredients from a one endangered now extinct animal? Call me rude but it seems rather self absorbed and shitty to not use an alternative or go without.

Ah, you’re referring to that joke I wrote about what face lotion I use:

The animal my lotion is made from went extinct, so I bought enough bottles to last me till I’m 30. When I run out, I’ll probably use something unscented. (Unless they cure puffy eyes in the future, then I won’t need lotion).

Original post here.

The joke is a riff on the ribwich episode of Simpsons:

The last stop of the Ribwich’s tour was in San Francisco, where Krusty the Clown appeared in person and announced that the Ribwich would not be made anymore, as the unnamed animal whose meat was used for the burger had become extinct.

Its a joke.  I made a joke about my amazing face lotion being discontinued.  And it isn’t the first time I’ve joked about it being discontinued.  I’ve also joked it was pulled for being too powerful, addicting, and ironically causes the skin cancer it was designed to prevent.  My facial lotion is L’Oreal Men Expert Hydra engergetic Moisturiser.

Sadly, L’Oreal has reintroduced the lotion with a new package design. So I can’t joke about it anymore.