Noodles and Beef

Anonymous asks:
Is your dick bigger then your masters?

brandedbulltank:

Heh, no. That’s like comparing an eggplant to a dill pickle.

Hi everyone. @brandedbulltank’s Master here. Tank has a tendency to embellish in favour of me–his “submissive eye” as it were–so I have to jump in with a small correction: he’s a lot bigger than I am.

Tank is obscenely hung. Balls that would make a bull jealous and a cock thicker than a Coke can. He’s so big he can’t really top. Just a big, overly hung, bull.

Anonymous asks:
Why do you consider your beautiful cock useless? I think you're an amazing specimen of what man should be.

You have to read that in the context of my big dick humiliation fetish.  I get turned on when people make fun of my bull balls and horse cock.  Think of it like small penis humiliation, only for guys who are too endowed for a normal life.

Its weird.  I know.  Just go with it.

Anonymous asks:
What size condom fits your massive meat? Are condoms even necessary in your life anymore?

I fit into Magnum XLs.

I found this out in the most embarrassing way: while losing my virginity.

The guy I was with passed me a condom and turned back to the bed, ass in the air.  I struggled to get the condom on, and after a few minutes he came back to check on me.

“Oh, you’re too big!”  He laughed, tossing the condom aside.  He was a sweetheart, doing his best to make me feel better despite having such a big useless cock.

I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t even fit into a condom.

We went to a nearby pharmacy and he had me buy some Magnum’s.

This was before self-checkout, I had to talk to a real cashier.  It was mortifying.  I didn’t even had to look at them to feel the judgemental glance.  “Magnums?  Too big for the free condoms everyone uses?  Pfft.”

Back to the hotel room.  He’s being cute and subby while giving me head, only taking breaks to complain about his jaw hurting.  Then comes the sex part.  I pull apart the gold foil and he helps me push the condom over my cock.

Again. It doesn’t fit.

I couldn’t talk, I was too embarrassed.

What I didn’t know was that Magnum’s are only slightly thicker than the average condom, they’re really just longer.  Poor virgin me thought I was a freak that needed custom condoms.

We made a second trip to the pharmacy, this time the guy I was with asked the clerk for Magnum XL’s.

“You know, if these don’t fit, you’ll probably be a virgin forever.”

I was mortified.

Thankfully, it fit.  It was incredibly unpleasant and we ended up giving up because I couldn’t cum, but it fit.

troyal77:

When the man says, “Jump,” you say, “How high?” When the man says “Put a Redbull in your mouth and imagine it’s my cock,” you say nothing because you have a Redbull in your mouth. My attempt at the noodlesandbeef challenge. Hope it pleases you, sir!

Such a good pup.

Anonymous asks:
Your dick bulge in those pants makes it look like you're wearing a fanny pack. Oink.
image

Sometimes I wear this camera bag/fanny pack and wish there was a hole in the back I could stuff my junk through.  It would be less conspicuous than having a giant mound protruding erotically from my body.  Then my embarrassment would be downgraded from “uselessly giant horse cock” to “he’s wearing a fanny pack.”

Anonymous asks:
A man's cock is supposed to be a source of power, strength and pride. Yours is source of weakness, and its good you can acknowledge that. Every guy knows the wmbarassment of an unexpected boner, of course, but you feel that embarassment all the time because your bull cock can't be hidden like most. Men aren't supposed to be sexualized, but you are on display everywhere you go. Your hypermasculinity makes normal masculinity impossible. That's why you need to submit and serve. -KM

*sexually frustrated moo*

Anonymous asks:
Is your cock actually getting bigger? It feels like it. In Hawaii it felt almost normal, because you didnt have to use it, and you could almost forget the useless pendulous weight dragging you down. But back home you are expected to use your bull meat all the time to please your pups. Can't they see how your natural place is servicing a man like Alpha? It's hard to see his gorgeous manhood and not compare it to your pathetically oversized meat. Why arent you on your knees right now? -KM
image

Hawaii was a really nice vacation. I spent most of my trip in very remote jungles and secret beaches where very few people would go.  No scornful looks at my overflowing speedos, no judgemental glares from people as I struggled to keep my horse cock and bull balls from flopping out of my shorts.  I could just be naked and carefree happy bull.

Back to reality.  

My absence had made my pups even more hungry for my oversized meat.  Alpha had been in chastity for two weeks, so he was begging to take it…maybe all the pumping is working.  He couldn’t fit the entire thing down his throat.  There was at least two inches to the base.  He tried and tried, but it just made me more and more self conscious.  Its already too big…and getting bigger each time I pump.

Alpha can fit into the chastity cage…I’m incredibly jealous.  I can’t even squeeze into the hard plastic cage when flaccid, and my attempts at using the rubber cage resulted in me bursting out of it.

His cock is perfect.  Not comically huge to the point of being useless like mine.  Wishing we could trade roles again, wishing I could be in his place, like a good bull.  Head down, big beefy rump in the air, whimpering and begging to be used.

Sigh.

alucardsamsun asks:
This big dick humiliation fetish is interesting. Have any of your past/current dominators done this with you? Also, if you saw a dom w/ a dick even bigger than yours, would that hurt your image of him?

alphabeef:

noodlesandbeef:

It’s a relatively new fetish I discovered during my #52weeksofkink project.

Most of the humiliation comes from people online…only @alphabeef and @innerbear have made fun of my prodigious endowment in person.  Not sure how serious they take it, but it definitely knocks me down a few pegs.

It may have started as a goof, but I think it’s hot. Think about it from a Dom’s perspective: Your sub’s meat is so huge, so ass-stretchingly thick, that it’s virtually unusable and yet no one can take their eyes off of it. You’ve got a perfect show pup who’s in natural chastity because his junk is too big to function and he can only find pleasure by servicing you with his tight hole. *boner*

oh, alpha, I love you.

alucardsamsun asks:
This big dick humiliation fetish is interesting. Have any of your past/current dominators done this with you? Also, if you saw a dom w/ a dick even bigger than yours, would that hurt your image of him?

It’s a relatively new fetish I discovered during my #52weeksofkink project.

Most of the humiliation comes from people online…only @alphabeef and @innerbear have made fun of my prodigious endowment in person.  Not sure how serious they take it, but it definitely knocks me down a few pegs.

Anonymous asks:
Fucking incredible. The more you share of your body, the more I'm amazed. Thank god that cock is so big it's worthless. Just makes your balls swell more and that asshole sweeter. You should show off that worthless cock more. Especially paired with your much more useful fuck hole.

Oversized bull cock and balls on display for everyone to gawk, tease, and humiliate me. I just feel completely powerless. I want to be good, I need to be used, told how to think and act. It’s so hard to think with that absurd weight tugging at my groin, like it’s pulling me down on all fours.

*whimper*

Anonymous asks:
No wonder you're bored. No one's around to take your cock, are they? No one who can handle your massive, dangling bull meat. And it's so much effort even when they can, it's hardly worth it, is it? Wasn't it nice to just give in and be a pup last night? Maybe if you post more pictures of your butt, someone will come by and entertain you. It would be so much easier to let someone use your hole instead of going through all the effort in trying to get a bottom ready for that absurd cock.

Bingo.
I wish I could be submissive more. It’s so much easier to just listen and obey. Tired of this oversized donkey dick and bull balls…such a hassle being a top, so much prep work, and that fear of always hurting the bottom.
Feeling that heavy weight tugging at my groin is a constant reminder I’m just a big dumb bull. I belong on my hands and knees. It feels natural…

titanmuscle asks:
Any particular reason you seem to be posting a lot more explicit photos lately? Not complaining...

There’s an anon who has been sending me big dick humiliation messages, getting me all submissive, then ordering me to do things I normally wouldn’t do.  Like post photos of my bull junk, which just brings it more attention, which makes it more embarrassing.

Ahhh…