Honestly I’m the worst with it.
When I’m in an attack it can be pretty mentally crippling for me.
This morning I was freaking out and in class and was just solely focused on how unfocused my brain was. How it keep going back to how much of a shitty work out I had. That I was getting too small…etc.
The best thing for me managing it/dealing with an attack is to go workout (which I know is potentially stupid since I may have already worked out that day) but other wise if I can assert myself outside of my self perception with numbers (measurements or lifting a heavy weight) then it helps calm down my system because its tangible not like looking in a mirror.
I asked StormdTheCastle how he deals with his BDD attacks after his own bout with one this morning.
I’d love to know how others with BDD deal with their anxiety or lessen attacks…but not many people are open about having BDD.
jdgentleman
You think that’s hard to believe?
I was 140lbs six years ago, but my actual starting weight was 10lbs 4oz!
Anonymous
I don’t think that’s the technical term for it. But, yes, I have that.
I’ve written a lot about my experience with BDD, you can read about it here. But it’s kind of a downer subject and I already lost a reader today from posting about it. So let’s talk about jockstraps instead.
Anonymous
My research says I won’t be big enough to be a Bull till I’m at least 280lbs. So, about 40lbs to grow!
Until then, I see myself as a scrawny kid, so that’s how I draw myself.
Anonymous
Dude, Anonymous, I totally agree.
But it’s a hot topic on this blog and folks are very curious and keep asking about it so it’s hard not to talk about it. I’m going to make a FAQ soon because I’m starting to answer the same questions over and over again.
Anonymous
It’s common that folks with BDD are also (paradoxically) exhibitionists. As Wikipedia and my therapist explained it, this is a form of validation. Folks with BDD are extremely insecure and are always seeking outside input to reassure themselves on whatever their perceived deficit is.
This is certainly true for me.
If it’s safe for you, I highly recommend coming out.
If it’s not safe (homophobic parents, anti-gay county, etc), then maybe go somewhere that you’re appreciated. Like, any state that has legalized Gay Marriage. There are a couple of them.
Last week “The Cubby House” (a radio show on Australian gay radio station 94.9FM) interviewed me about my body dysmorphia and what it means “to be big.” It’s a good show, and it’s interesting hearing the similarities between Jim (a gainer they interviewed) and myself.
My segment is pretty well edited, but I think I need to expand on the “therapy” piece.
Wikipedia indicates therapy as a possible treatment…so I had seen a therapist for my BDD, but stopped after a couple sessions because I felt it wasn’t helping much. I had the most success “treating” my BDD by coming out about it. And spending one night hallucinating from Psilocybin Mushrooms. (Yes, Shrooms).
There’s been a resurgence of psychiatrists using psychoactive drugs to treat difficult problems. For me, it was the most therapeutic ”trip” of my life.
I won’t get into detail of my 8-hour spirit journey (laugh if you must, there’s really no other word to describe what happened), but the most noticeable effect was that it turned off my preconceptions. Its like I was seeing everything for the first time. And that included my reflection. I was looking in my reflection and I saw what I think everyone else sees.
For the first time, I was not unhappy with how I looked. I knew it was me, and I was fine with how I looked. I couldn’t stop crying. And then I met a badger and he took me back in time to go abalone hunting with my Dad.
Of course, 8 hours later, the effects wore off and my reflection was “me” again. But I cling to the memory of what I looked like, and try to put myself into that mind state of seeing myself without prejudice.
I highly recommend this “therapy” to folks with body image issues. Just make sure it’s legal in your state and you’re in a safe place.
lunaki
My primary motivation is that I get really, really depressed when I miss a meal or workout because of my BDD. Most of my gym and diet info is from my bodybuilding step dad or previous boyfriends who were total gym heads. I supplement whatever they taught me by reading Mens Health.
Anonymous
And a one-time COLT model back when it was a “Fitness Magazine” run by Jim French. And a nudist. But that’s not why I have BDD. I was collecting bodybuilding magazines and hating my body before he met mom.
Hey, guys, enough with the Body Dismorphia stuff, okay?
If you really want to know about it, I’ll gladly answer in private. But, it’s making my blog much heavier than the tumbl-o-porn I intended it to blossom into.
BDD is such a small aspect of my otherwise totally awesome life.
We now return to my regularly scheduled awesome.
megatakesatumble asked:
If this isn’t too personal, are you really diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia? How is it? How do you see yourself in the mirror all the time?
I am, and it sucks, but I’ve learned to cope through distraction. I see myself as a very skinny and undesirable version of “me.” All my flaws seem to be the focus…if that makes any sense.
Anonymous
BDD is often misunderstood as a vanity-driven obsession, whereas it is quite the opposite; people with BDD do not believe themselves to be better looking than others, but instead feel that their perceived “defect” is irrevocably ugly or not good enough.
A lot of folks think I’m conceited and confuse my avoidant personality for being aloof and arrogant.
