Hello, Handsome.


I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about personal stuff but more often I post photos of my butt.

I'm a single, gay, 25-year-old who lives in San Francisco, and I do UX for a living. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

Popular Noodles


Latest Beef

when you enter your own stats into the clique generator what clique do you belong to? also, where did the Dylan pose inspiration come from? i know it makes you look huge but i can imagine you werking a booty pose aswell- just saying you have a great rump :)
arfabear

I get Muscle Pup, but I don’t really identify as “Muscle Pup,” or anything for that matter!  (Though, if I can hit 270lbs I’ll officially be a Bull, which sounds much sexier than a pup).

The Dylan Pose is the result of years of trial-and-error to create a seemingly-spontaneous yet innocuous way to look better in candid photos. It’s one of my go-to poses, but there are other poses I employ to make myself bigger (or less fat) based on the occassion…poses that I shall discuss in a later post.

Hypothetical! If you had the option to be granted your dream body in an instant, but in return have to give up your strength (down to the point of an average person), would you do it?
stupidgit

Yes!

I already made that decision when I switched from a powerlifting-centric routine to a hypertrophy routine.  Running on the routine from my powerlifting-ex, I was focused mostly on building strength and maximising my bodyweight to strength ratio.  I could lift nearly three-times my bodyweight…but I wasn’t growing much.

When I started dating Mr January, I started lifting less weight, but I grew much bigger and faster.

In a way, I’m already sacrificing strength for my “dream body.” Its just happening very, very slowly.  Sigh.

I find it hard to believe that you only weighed 140lbs at one point, you're even more impressive/astounding in that light!
jdgentleman

You think that’s hard to believe?

I was 140lbs six years ago, but my actual starting weight was 10lbs 4oz! 

What is the best way to get rid of the stubborn fat on your stomach line? Any advice?
riceandchicken

I love your screen name, Rice and Chicken.

Plastic surgery aside, you can’t target parts of your body to lose fat. Your only option is to workout and lower your body fat percent over your entire body.

I know. That sounds super tedious.

Does phil have a tumblr? I would like to get on that.
nerdswithfriends

Phil is on tumblr as InnerBear! Please bug him to post more about his fun, adventurous life!

your beard is awesome, you should grow it out big and burly
Anonymous

Lets take it to a vote, shall we?

Dear tumblr: should I grow my beard out, like, really big?

I decided to go on this whole sexual exploration journey... and I got bottomed the other night. But the guy said I was terrible. It was my first time... Any tips? Anything I should know for the future?
thetruegryffindor

You got bottomed.

I’m still learning about sex, but I can’t tell if you were the receiving or intruding partner. So I shall answer both questions:

Dylan’s Tips for Bottoming:

  1. “Always keep a clean kitty.” Anal sex can happen at any time. It can surprise you. You could be innocently brushing your teeth and it’ll just HAPPEN TO YOU. So it’s important that you are always ready for it.  It’s important that you keep a clean kitty. Wash yourself out well and eat a high-fiber diet to facilitate cleanliness. Buy a shower tool. Shave down there. Etc…
  2. New to bottoming? Make sure you start on top. This gives you more control and allows you to ease onto it.  Tops love it because they can get a lot of reading done when you’re doing all the work!
  3. When you’re bottoming, it’s all about you. So give your tops positive reinforcement with moans when they do good and COMPLETE SILENCE when you aren’t enjoying yourself.
  4. Wear a condom. Barebacking feels amazing, but you should only do it with someone you absolutely trust.

Dylan’s Tips for Topping:

  1. Anal sex can HURT. So spend a lot of time with foreplay. Do lots of grinding against the hole and teasing.  When they start begging for it, go slowly. Don’t just ram all 8-inches in at once.
  2. Pay attention to your bottom. Are they moaning for more? Or being COMPLETELY SILENT because they’re uncomfortable? Figure it out. Their pleasure is important, so make sure you know where their prostate is and pound away.
  3. Wear a condom. Barebacking feels much better for the top, but you should only do it with someone you absolutely trust.

I’ve gone back and forth on being a bottom or a top, and there are lessons to be learned from both sides.  Nevertheless, you shouldn’t take these as absolutes: everyone does the sex different (I like to wear hats), so be open to trying new things and exploring your sexuality.  You never know what you might end up liking.

Also, that guy sounds like a jerk face. Who says you’re bad at sex? That’s not very nice at all.

do you make any money out of your blog. or is it just a fun hobby?
peegeeceeeff

Just a fun hobby slash obsession.

I tried running ads for 10 days back in August and made about $1.30/day.  But the ads made me feel like I had to produce good content, so I took them down.

I’ve been much more successful with refferal programs.  Linking Bonobos after I bought their awesome shirt earned me $25 in store credit with them (YAY, MORE CLOTHES!), and when I reference products from Amazon I try to insert my affiliate ID, earning me $10.02 in the past year.

Basically, I’m rolling in it.

I just became comfortable with the fact that I'm gay. What should I do next?
Anonymous

Everyone handles it a little different. Here’s how things went once I accepted that I was gay:

  1. Rented/Watched almost every gay movie on NetFlix, starting with the Birdcage. (Why aren’t there any good gay movies?)
  2. I joined most every gay dating website and discovered that not only was I gay, but I was also invisible!
  3. Through these gay dating websites, I learned about gay-happenings in the nearby city of San Francisco.  So I would bike-bus-train-bike for four hours to get to the Castro and sit in the Starbucks for a couple hours before I’d have to return to make the last train of the day.  I did this every weekend for months…Even if they couldn’t see me, it was so exhilerating being around other gay people! 
  4. While rushing to catch the last train home, I ran into someone from Bear411 and he offered to let me crash with him instead of miss the train home to Santa Cruz.  The next day we were boyfriends and were together for, like, two years.

Good luck on the whole gay thing.

You have poor social skills? I would have thought of you as a social butterfly. I sort of have an ability to not to know what to say in a social setting so it sort of make me look like a loser who doesn't like to talk.
herpderpbollocks

I sort of have bad social skills.

I’m not a natural extrovert, but I’ve learned how to be “on” and talk about any subject with people in an engaging way.  SO I can feign social skills.

Hi Noddles! One question, when working out have you gotten sore muscles afterwards and if yes how did fix or cope with them?
Anonymous

I actually love the sore feeling from a good workout. It’s reminder that I pushed myseld hard enough that I ripped muscle tissue and fascia and will be growing bigger later.

That said, I don’t try to minimize the sore feeling. Nevertheless, adding potassium supplement to your diet will help reduce the sore feeling, and has the added effect of helping you lose water weight.

How did you deal with people reacting to your new size and mass after/now that you've bulked up a lot?
Anonymous

I went to an open-house for the old design studio I had worked for back when I was 140lbs. Everyone was freaking out about how much bigger I had gotten.  I was glowing, it felt really good to know there was such a noticeable difference!

And then an old coworker started feeding me cocktails and tried to get me to go home with him and it was really weird because my mom was right there.