mountaincub asks:
Where do you buy your clothes?

Oh boy…where do I even begin?

Dress Clothes


About 99% of my work and dress clothes are from ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ or EXPRESS.  Some of ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮’s pants are made with lycra, so they stretch and conform to my weirdly-shaped thighs.  EXPRESS dress shirts are also made with a bit of stretch and are extremely flattering to folks with greater-than-average proportions.

I have one black leather belt, size 34” from LEVI.

Even Dressier Clothes


Because of my weird dimensions, I can’t fit into sports coats and jackets off the rack.  I need them heavily tailored or bespoke (custom made).

This jacket is a bespoke piece from Saks made of stretch wool.  My thinking was that it would last longer should I continue to grow.

The pants I’m wearing are from EXPRESS, shirt is ARMANI EXCHANGE, same black belt as always.  My pup (right, in collar) is wearing my clothes (we are the same size, its awesome).  Shirt is EXPRESS, pants are ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮.

Casual Bottoms


Cargo shorts comprise about half of my wardrobe.  The other half is stuff I don’t fit into but still keep because you never know when I might lose 100lbs and fit into a Children’s small again.

I don’t really favour one brand to the next.  I just shop when I travel or sad or bored, and if I fall in love with something thats on sale, I get it.  I have shorts from G*STAR, Priape, Armani Exchange, Super Dry, bench, and even Kirkland Brand cargo shorts from Costco.  

Typically I buy shorts that feature the rump enhancing frown.  I also have a (slightly outdated) guide to my bottoms here.



Similar to shorts, I don’t really shop one brand. I have simple critera for shirt shopping:

  • Not expensive
  • Flattering (see my write-up here)
  • Cool design that is either bear or bull related, bright colours, or funny phrase (eg, “Conserve water, shower with me.”  Hilarious)


I shop for clothes randomly and only buy when I’m in love with something thats on sale. The exception is dress clothes, where I mostly buy from ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ or EXPRESS, and sometimes get them tailored.