pandatreats221 asks:
Sooo seeing as how you once were a skinny guy like moi,how did you go about getting bear friends and getting into the scene? because I really want to.

I spent an absurd amount of time grooming and marketing myself to the bear community when I was younger.  Like many twinks, I was an outsider to bear world, and bears are overwhelmingly only into other bear types.  I was invisible.  No bear wanted to befriend me.  I couldn’t even get an account on Bear411 because I wasn’t “bear enough.”

I became disenchanted with the bear scene pretty quickly.

My advice?  Do the things you love to do and you’ll attract meaningful friends and relationships who share those interests.  Some might even be bears, but don’t focus on that. Curating relationships based on physical appearances is shallow and a poor foundation for friendship or love.

I know, it sounds crazy, but you should follow your passions instead of other people.

  • When I went to bars, I met people who liked bars (alcoholics).
  • When I went to bear runs, I met lots of bears…who were into other bears.
  • When I did stuff I wanted to do, I met the coolest people I know.  I have way more fun doing things I enjoy than chasing after a community that has spurned me from the beginning.

This is the best advice I have ever given.