I am your host, Noodles and Beef, and welcome to my blog. It's my creative dumping ground and journal. I post work from my photo projects, sketches from my notepad, and infographics from my research. Sometimes I write about my body dysmorphia but more often I post photos of my butt. I am in a D/s relationship with three wonderful pups. Your hair looks amazing today.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy it!

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If given the chance to magically change your sexual orientation, would you want to be straight?

Be straight?  Pffft.  No way!

I’m 27-years into my gay life and am finally comfortable/adjusted with things.  I can’t imagine flipping the sexual orientation switch one night and having to learn the elaborate social dance of being straight.

However…I would consider being straight if I could start from birth in an alternate reality where I get to live all my gay life events as a straight man…including being in a D/s relationship with my pups.  Or, in straight world, my kittens:

Meet gender-swap big pup: Danielle.  Think a busty ESL latina, like Sofía Vergara in Modern Family, only she runs restaurants.

Then there’s lil pup: Chandelier.  Imagine Emma Roberts playing a hyper-affectionate, clumsy, know-it-all.

And alpha (mister editor in chief) is actually the gender-swap version of Miranda Priestly.

Yeah, I think I could be happy with that life.

Purified water, or natural spring water?

Spring water.  Purified water is bad for you.

I know you didn’t ask, but my favourite water is San Francisco tap water.

Its amazing.  Has this real watery kick that normal water lacks.

What The Fox Says: Giving Up and Giving In



What began as a response to one of fuzzbutt’s weekly blog posts is finished below:


Contrary to popular portrayal of “Masters” and their “slaves” (mostly in porn), where Masters are all swaggering egomaniacs bent on crushing their pitiful slaves into a humiliating and degrading submission for a brief time before fucking their brains out, most Masters of my acquaintance are fairly humble people, and their ego is FAR removed from their ownership of slaves. Good Masters whom I know and respect take their responsibility for their slaves so seriously, view the gift of their total surrender and trust as so precious and awe-inspiring that they are humbled to their core by it, and respond accordingly, taking up and shouldering that responsibility with a kind of egoless symbiotic purity of need meeting need. A good and well-balanced Master/slave relationship is a beautiful thing to watch and see in motion. 

It is incredibly humbling, especially when such exceptional men like big pup, lil pup, or alpha choose to submit.  I’m compelled to be more than I am so that I don’t squander or waste this wonderful gift.

Reblogged from brandedbulltank
Big pup surprised me with a weekend trip to San Diego. Spending the afternoon at our hotel rooftop pool. Gorgeous up here. Love you pup, hang you!

Big pup surprised me with a weekend trip to San Diego. Spending the afternoon at our hotel rooftop pool. Gorgeous up here. Love you pup, hang you!


So the pictures I posted of the Real Bad party didn’t really convey just how massive this party was. These are from the official Real Bad FB page. This is just one of several dance floors.

Just one dance floor of five.

Think we spent most our time in the red room upstairs.

Reblogged from bigxbad
Do you tend to go for/ attracted to guys with similar build to you, or is it mix and match?

Here are some of the bodies I’ve been in a relationship with:

As you can see, I’ve been with all kinds of bodies.  I’m physically attracted to a certain kind of guy, but have never limited myself to that as I’m most attracted to innocence.  If you look closely, you’ll see none of these bodies are similar to my look.  (Or at least, not how I think I look).

Hold on there, this is important.

Hi, I'm Noodles and Beef and welcome to my blog. How are you? Your hair looks great today. What's your secret? I think its important we get to know each other a little bit before you continue.

I've been updating this blog for over 13-years to help me remember and better appreciate my life experiences. I blog for my own benefit, so the content can be extremely personal and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable.

We just met, so I'm not sure what makes you uncomfortable.

Thats why you need to be at least 18-years-old to continue...and if it makes you uncomfortable, just stop reading my blog, okay?

I agree