What would I have to do to be one of your pups? Not now but maybe in the future? I really wanna better myself, you have "trained" multiple people and I really wanna be the next one. I wanna get buff but I'm incapable of doing it myself. You're amazing I gotta say. I did see you once I'm SF but I was to nervous to say anything. I also think that this new form that you could train me to he can help my confidence level.
You don’t want a Master, you want a personal trainer.
Telling me what I can do for you comes off as selfish and demanding…which is the opposite of submission.
My new cardiologist changed my heart medication last month.
I was pretty excited because the original medication made it difficult to lift weights and the new medication had fun off-label uses, like blocking the fight/flight response.
The first week was very nice. Finally able to lift weight without becoming quickly exhausted; I improved on all my lifts and am nearly where I was last year before the incident.
The blocking of fight/flight response was interesting. Things that would normally aggravate now made me shrug with indifference. Inversely, things that would normally make me excited or passionate didn’t seem to get that response anymore.
After two weeks this ennui has turned into an odd depression. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m sad, but this lack of passion is making me unhappy.
Talked to my doc this morning and he’s taking me off and we’ll try something else later. :/
While certainly not appropriate at the office, why would "packagey" shorts be acceptable at the gym? Its great that you comfortable with your body but do you really think its appropriate to wear that kind of clothing when people are trying to work out?
I get the impression you’ve never worked out at a gay gym before.
I’m dressed modestly for a gay gym.
Since I can’t take photos, here is a list of things I have seen people wear at a gay gym:
I’ve written before that I’m not the most sexual person, so my default answer for everyone is “lets be friends first!” So I’m trying to answer from a hypothetical place where I’m, like, this sexual Barry Bonds who can call his positions like baseball home-runs just by looking at someone.
Were you a pup during 2010-2011? I see you are wearing a lock in the pic of those years.
The dates are a little off, but yes, I’ve had the privilege of being in service a couple times. Even got to wear a collar.
I will never be able to earn his collar, but part of me will always belong to him.
There’s an alternate reality (we’ll call it Earth 11) where I did earn his collar. I’m a good pup and I get to show him everyday how grateful I am to serve him. He would want for nothing and that would be my happiness.
I’ll visit Earth 11 when I’m feeling subby or nostalgic. Its comforting until I clutch that empty space where a padlock should rest.
Our relationship is different, better, but I still get that submissive ache now and then.
See the poster behind me? Its the Holstee Manifesto, and it goes like this (I’ve bolded my favourite lines):
This is your life. Do what you want and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over-analysing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Life is simple. Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.
I’ve had the privilege of working for some very large companies. The pay was good, consistent, and my work has been seen by millions of people. At least once a week I’ll see something I brought to life or talk to someone who has used a product I worked on. Its wonderful.
Wonderful…but somehow unfulfilling.
Me, a year ago.
I was catching up with an old colleague from evil-media-corporation and she was telling me about her new project. It was a non-profit focused on immigration and education reform in America, and they were going to achieve their lofty goals using technology. They just needed a Dylan.
I wasn’t ready to leave my big-tech-corp gig, so I started freelancing for a few months before making up my mind and going full-time with the non-profit.
It was a good move. I’ve been more productive at the non-profit in six months than I was at big-tech-corp in three years. The first project I launched went viral, got a write-up in the Guardian, featured on telemundo fox, and was used by celebrities like Ashton Kutcher, Adrian Grenier, Chris Tucker, Jared Leto, and dozens more.
When I was a kid, I was the fat kid. I was also the kid that cried way too easily. It destroyed me.
When I met Sir last year, he had seen nude pictures of me, but the idea of standing in front of him and disrobing and being rejected was nearly too much for me, and when that time came, I was scared to death. He wasn’t going to like me, something was going to be wrong.
[ … ]
I started in the gym under the guise of “being the best boy I could be” for my wife and Sir, but that’s about 90% bullshit. It’s for me. It’s because one day, I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw, and there are still days where I see myself at 285 pounds, five years out of the gym, sedentary, fat, tired after I walked up the stairs to my apartment…the list goes on.
once I started working out and getting a little more comfortable, I think the blog really helped me. I realized that there are going to be people who don’t like how I am no matter what. I could be my ideal body type and weight and tan and whatever, and there would still be people who hated the way I looked.
[ … ]
And then there are the others. I saw noodlesandbeef's blog probably about the same time I got serious with Sir. I idolized him and his pups because they were what I wanted to be. Aside from all of the bodybuilding stuff, they were open and free and he seems to be able to just shake it off when people shit on him, even though he's talked about having BDD a lot. and I’d post a picture, and he’d like it, or take the two seconds to tell me I was doing a good job. he’d come and find my posts even though he wasn’t following my blog. That meant a lot. It made me feel like I was doing so great, it still does.
There are still days where I see myself at my worst when I look in the mirror. They’re starting to be fewer and far between, but I’ve come a long way in loving and accepting myself. Last year, I was scared to death of taking off my shirt at a FUCKING BEAR NIGHTCLUB, and in two days I plan on basically wearing a harness and a jockstrap all night.
I think the confidence in yourself really makes the difference.
You are doing great, pup! Aside from your physical progress, I see you opening up more and more on your blog, its beautiful, your Sir must be very proud.
So your the master? Are you real dominent are strict? You kinda look cute silly and goffy, it's hard to see you being a "master" like other people mean it as pushy controlling my way or the high way kind of person that only cares about what they want. Are you like that?
Yes, I’m very silly.
Contrary to our portrayal in porn and media, Doms aren’t all pushy egomaniacs. My partners’ needs are my needs and I do my best to keep our powerexchange-based relationship healthy. foxbear says it best in this excerpt on his piece about surrender:
Contrary to popular portrayal of “Masters” and their “slaves” (mostly in porn), where Masters are all swaggering egomaniacs bent on crushing their pitiful slaves into a humiliating and degrading submission for a brief time before fucking their brains out, most Masters of my acquaintance are fairly humble people, and their ego is FAR removed from their ownership of slaves. Good Masters whom I know and respect take their responsibility for their slaves so seriously, view the gift of their total surrender and trust as so precious and awe-inspiring that they are humbled to their core by it, and respond accordingly, taking up and shouldering that responsibility with a kind of egoless symbiotic purity of need meeting need. A good and well-balanced Master/slave relationship is a beautiful thing to watch and see in motion.
I'm a little confused about your arrangement (in a curiosity way, not in a don't do that way - that would be icky), so who is engaged and how many of you are together? *confused* And also what's a penis birthmark? Ps you are SO SO handsome. So are all the guys you post <3
Guess its time to do a family tree.
I’m the Dom to three collared subs: big pup, lil pup, and alpha pup. They address me as Master and I call them my pups. (Though, by old guard definition they’re closer to slaves, but we don’t like that word). I also have friends who are subs or identify as pup but our relationship is non-sexual.